Disclaimer – This piece is not intended to denigrate women or to cast them in an extortionist light, but to sensitize them, help them out of needless desperation or the appearance of it and prevent them from falling prey to the waiting devouring arms/harms of male predators who are willing and ready to take advantage of desperate women in the cyberspace and in the outer space.
Having earlier explained the characteristics and nature of desperate women, here is a detailed piece on where and how to find such women.
On social media
One surest platform to find desperate women to take advantage of is the social media! Highest on the list is Facebook due to the conversational and expressive nature of the platform. One of my pervert friends described Facebook as the fountain of fornication, the album of free lays and the pool of easy coitus. Just pick, mark, identify, chat up, invite and lay! It is that simple! It is commonplace to find some guys ambushing ladies on Facebook, inviting them over and voila, they get laid.
The traumatic story of Cynthia Osokogu is still fresh in our memory. I heard the story of another lady who was raped on her couch in her house by a guy he met on Facebook. Just last night in Benin, a 20year old lady who met a guy on Facebook and visited him from Lagos was thrown out in the cold and left stranded without transport fare or accommodation by the guy simply because she refused to have unprotected sex with him.
Things people do out of stupidity. I am only wondering If she thought they would be picking beans at night when she visits him and spends the night before jumping on the bus. If you are moved by words, feminism-defence, intelligence and material wealth displayed by guys on social media, I’m afraid you are a potential victim.
Your updates and comments can also unconsciously locate you as an easy lay or a desperate woman. Watch it!
In abusive and loveless marriages and toxic relationships.
The next sure place to find desperate women is in cold marriages. So many women are married but feeling single! They have neither sufficient sex from their husbands nor the luxury of love. Such women are even easier to get than single women! They are stuck in a man’s house they wish they never met, very miserable, bereft of affection and deficient of attention. They will cheat whenever the opportunity presents itself.
By women’s very nature, they are not wired to cheat! It is very unlikely that a happy, fulfilled and satisfied wife will cheat on her loving husband. Temptation is not the weakness of an average woman. All she desires is love, attention, honesty and loyalty. Before, she cheats on her man, she would complain, whine, rant and cry foul about everything and anything that makes her unhappy and lonely. She always gives a warning before destruction! When she’s done complaining, she takes her destiny into her hands and seeks unconventional happiness at your expense! That’s what you call ‘cheating’.
A woman always needs to fill her emotional void, If her husband shirks his responsibilities, a straying man takes his place! No vacuum in the heart of a woman for long! Every man must pay permanent attention to his woman lest she falls into the temptation of acting like she is single- this is where she becomes desperate to lay as a prey for the discerning guys. Once she does it once and nothing happens, her guilt temperature dies and she will delve in full scale till she kills her conscience!
You find them everywhere, really!
Desperate women are everywhere – church, mosque, streets, work place and in the next flat! Look well enough, look within- you will find them…
How to recognize Desperate Women.
1. She is male attention needy!
She craves male company at all times. This is more of a feeling than a signal, however this fear of being lonely will make a desperate woman jump in and out relationships. She can never stay single. She is either dating or flinging. Since all the woman wants is to have a man by her side, she will date anyone and everyone, even if she knows that her partner is not really worth the relationship, she will date all the same.
2. She aims low and settles down.
She reaches for her height or lower, not the skies. Classless and choice-less like a broke beggar. She takes whatever is available. Most women have their taste concerning the type of partner they want to date or can date. A desperate woman is an exception, as she will go out with any type of man, without being selective about his undesirable traits, his leaking pocket or concerned about his ill behaviour.
3. She responds to every chats no matter how poorly presented!
Say ‘Hey’, ‘Sup’, ‘Babes’, ‘Hiss’ and she will gladly respond without attitude or hot air, she is simply desperate. She is not time-bound. Desperate women will do anything just to get a date with a guy. Subject them to the most stifling and harrowing social conditions and they will comply. They always make themselves free whenever they are approached to go out and they would rather reschedule vital things in their calendar in order to have that one crucial date with a man. Desperate women live as though their life depends on a man.
4. She excessively calls or texts the man.
A confident woman will believe that it is the man’s work to call the woman early in the relationship, not the other way round. She waits all night and all day for a man who is not all that into her to reply her barrage of sms and missed calls. Desperate women tend to call or text the man, even when the man has not replied to any of her texts or calls. If you find yourself wasting your affection on a man who seem to be simply oblivious of your existence and it seems as though you are dating yourself, what more proof do you need that you are a desperate woman?
5. She is a trashy dresser!
When you dress indecently in scanty clothes and briefs, the first message you convey is that the motive of your ‘sexy’ appearance is to capture men’s attention: you will get attention of dogs and pigs– dressing up in tight and super-sexy clothes and constantly passing through places where you know men are in abundance is a clear signal that you have joined the camp of desperate women. If you post sexy pictures on Facebook, men will assume you are desperate.
Speech is a locator, obscene dressing is a sexual solicitation! Don’t dress like a slut if you don’t wish to be treated as one! When men come to your inbox after you updated suggestive things and posted and trashy pictures only for you to cry foul that men are chasing you, I just laugh hysterically. You made an open invitation to treat- you are incapable of complaining about the consequential offers. They thought reasonably that you showed off yourself to them so as to be approached by them.
6. When you are alright with everything the man wants, you are showing signs of desperation!
Car sex, outdoor sex, pool sex, club sex, anal sex, you are down for it! In your mind, you want to please your man and catch fun, in his mind, can’t this lady just say NO and draw the line at the bizarre? She is simply desperate! A woman who agrees to everything the man wants, does or thinks is desperate. She is afraid of being left if she speaks her mind. Sooner rather than later, the man will be bored by her since she is a woman with no opinions, ideologies, ideas or interests.
No sane man wants a woman like that unless you plan to give birth to agreeable blockheads! It’s so bad that when their man tells them to ditch their male friends, that’s exactly what they do. These type of women learn to adapt and mold their entire entity to keep a man. They forget they have a life beyond the man.
7. They go extremely subservient.
Only two things can happen to super submissive women; they end up alone, or in abusive relationships. The super submissive woman has absolutely no backbone or a back up plan. She suffers from low self esteem. She thinks that if she doesn’t rock the boat and does everything to make him happy, it will last, but it doesn’t! Every slapper checks the mood of the face of the slappee before dealing it a slap! Before a man will slap you, your face must appear slappable and your mien must appear unrevengeable!
I know women who will arrange to break your leg or burn your cars If you slap them! When you know you married an idiot, you treat her like trash! Being super submissive is counterproductive. The man will end up hating you and graduate from slap to full battery! That’s how evil grows. In reality, yielding to subduement will earn you a broken skull and more violent exposure. If every time a man pushes you, you fall, he’ll push you out of the way onto the next.
8. She accepts unthinkable marital conditions.
She can even marry a portrait If the man is not physically available. Doesn’t mind to be a 5th wife or be geographically separated from you in marriage so far you give her your last name- that’s desperation in its cruelest form simpliciter!
9. She is always looking for compliments.
Desperate women have low self-esteem and a poor self-image. A desperate woman thrives by the cognomen of vain men and the acoustic vanity of the mirror. She is narcissistic and she requires the sweet nothings uttered by deceitful men to make her feel good about herself. She loves the man who tells her she is finer than Beyonce even though Ayoka will defeat her in a beauty contest. Because she is not confident, she relies strongly on the compliments given by a man, not knowing that this is weary for the man and gives her away as a desperate woman.
10. She forgives very easily.
Even in cases of insults from the man to her or her parents, she will forgive him very fast, in order to keep him by her side. Quick to make excuses for his gaffes and misbehaviour. Forgives because she is weak, not out of strength! She forgives in advance because she has no choice! Who else can date or marry her?
11. She always stalks the man’s social media accounts.
She checks his phones and acts as a spiritual CCTV and monitoring spirit over his life. Constantly sends him messages on social media, tweets at him and checks out his friend lists and mutual friends. She is a pain in the ass. This is done with the intention of ensuring the man’s undivided attention is on her.
12. Her entire life revolves around the man’s life.
Take out her man and she is left with nothing! A desperate woman will get addicted to the man very fast and will look into everything he does, join his business and make his business her own. She isn’t merely supportive, she is desperately marking her territories.
13. She owns a pet!
I often know If a lady is bored and would be easy to penetrate in Europe If she owns a puppy! Women who buy dogs for companionship are the worst and most desperate women in the world. Without the risk of generalizing, most of them buy dogs If they can’t find a man. I see this happening everyday and I just want to plead with them to stop. Once a woman is close to giving up on men altogether, she buys a dog. The dog is the final habitual kiss of death on her dating life. The dog has to be walked, curbed, played with and any man who decides to date her will have to consider if he wants to be a part-time father to her dog or her lover. Such a crazy world.
14. She shows up real life unexpectedly when abandoned online.
When you stop answering her calls, texts, emails, Skype chats, Gchats, Facebook messages, LinkedIn messages, etc, she finds the next logical alternative, she shows up unexpectedly. Desperate women either want to be heard, or just need to see you. Women have this strange habit of thinking that if they can just get you to see them, you’ll take them back. I don’t know who told them that hogwash- It is over! Wake up and smell the coffee.
15. Willful generosity.
These are the gifters, the buyers and the mumu lovers. It’s perfectly okay to send a guy a card or an album on iTunes or help him pay for something with your card with the hope of repayment, reimbursement or reciprocity, but If he doesn’t spend on you and you keep spending on him, wake up from your nightmare of desperation! Women have to be honest with themselves though. Personally, I’ve always felt a certain way about gifts from women.
I feel it is unAfrican to collect from a woman, our fathers give to their wives, not the other way round. I’ve heard the craziest stories when it comes to women buying stuff for men. Wait, you really bought him a new suit because he got a new job? A guy who is not your boyfriend. What other idea do you want him to have other than you want to buy a husband for yourself? That’s weird! Please don’t do it anymore. Marry a man, not a sissy. Don’t go beyond a reasonably acceptable standard! I trust my Naija gehs though, den wan collect, dem no dey give o. You are even paying his rent. Na so husband hungry you reach? Let him just move in with you, you just found a wife!
16. They settle down with anything!
Undoubtedly what ends up happening is at a certain point, women will settle. When age goes north, the desperation to settle for anything skyrockets. This is the desperation heave that is often women’s undoing. There’s nothing more disappointing than a woman choosing to date men that are below her standards because the men that meet her standards don’t want her. It’s a crazy world. A man lower than you will abuse you because you will intimidate him! A lowly man is a potential toxin- he will poison you with bitterness!
This hurts my heart so much that I sometimes want to scream out at ladies not to settle for just anything simply because they desire marriage. When you settle for less, you always get less than you settled for! This is because it’s one of those actions that hurts everyone involved. The man has to know he wasn’t your first choice. When he looks at the pictures of your ex-boyfriends, he knows. You are more than him. He knows you married him because he is your most available, not your most desirable! When he realizes that you’ve done almost a complete 180 to 270 from who you used to be, he knows.
For the woman, it’s tragic because you’re stuck in a situation with a man who you have to convince yourself to love. It’s really harrowing. Forcing yourself to love what you get- you have the complaint for every good and the problem for every solution. You have to convince yourself after a while that you can support someone who wasn’t your first choice, might not even have been your second or third. However, many women will choose to settle to avoid being single forever. They now begin to moonlight and fantasize or even cheat on the poor man with their first choice. It’s worse off If after you have settled for a brute for the sake of marriage, the bloke now steps in with seriousness! What will you do?
Stepping out of desperation.
Typically, when women start to get desperate, my advice to them is to hold on, slow down and be patient… It’s not time to abandon the well thought out strategy that is who you are for who you are not! If you feel that this is Mr. Right and you just cannot picture yourself living without him, then yes, fight until the end. If the man you have is Mr. Wrong, don’t just dare! However, If Mr. Right has told you he doesn’t want you, you need to rethink why your Mr. Right doesn’t want you and what that means.
I don’t recommend any acts of desperation. Man or woman, you never want to lose yourself in a relationship or in fear of being alone. The person who gives all of these things up to keep a man ends up a wreck. That’s really the best word to describe you- a wreck. Then, when Mr. Right comes along he’s looking at a woman who is far spent, unsingle and married wrongly and has gone far down with Mr. Left. Don’t let the man of your dreams get the spent version of you; keep on being great until the end. Be patient! A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage! A broken marriage is better than a broken skull.
Desperate women should be careful because men will take advantage of their desperation – once they have won her heart, the danger is that they will get bored and move onto a woman that is more of a challenge. Be a desperate woman at your own peril!
– Tosin Ayo
The word bank.
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