In most relationships of today a lot of people are more interested in the regular things than the important things. We have somehow found a way to glamorize the basic things and alienate the more necessary items of a relationship to the background.
In this article, I shall be exploring the difference between what’s important and what’s basic in a relationship; and most importantly, I will show you what you should demand from your partner, beyond the basics!
Until your partner offers something more than the basics – Sex, money, movie dates, getaways – your relationship hasn’t exactly started!
I had this discussion with a colleague at work, and this struck me. I couldn’t resist sharing on my blog about what you should demand from your partner in your relationship.
Essentially, we need to understand the fact that a relationship is all about exchange of value, not an exchange of basics.
The basics are the regular things that are already expected to happen in a romantic relationship; and that’s what separates them from every other kind of relationship. These basics include the kisses, sex, romantic dates, movie dates, getaway, vacations and the rest. These are the things you are normally expected to do with your partner. But beyond this, what else should your relationship entail? What else should be asking of your partner?
Have you thought about this?
So you are getting the best sex in the world; many other people can and will do that, if given a chance. That’s basic!
He is taking you on vacations and giving you the expensive things; so many rich guys will do the same on a higher scale, if they get a chance. It’s basic.
She cooks great meals, so what? A lot of women can cook better. He helps in the kitchen, great! But there are many guys who can do that as well. That’s basic too.
At this point, let’s begin to talk about what you should demand from your partner in a relationship.
Most of the things we fawn about and pay more attention to in relationships are basic. We tend to undermine the more important things that require our attention.
What are those things, really? Here we go.
Do they influence your life positively?
How about going out of their way to help you?
Do they stand up for you anywhere?
Can they protect you?
Most people are in a relationship where they enjoy things they can already do for themselves.
If your partner can’t talk sense to you, call a friend to help you when you need it, give you inner peace, freedom to aspire or just impact value into your life, you don’t have a serious relationship. You are just playmates!
Do not get me wrong. I am not saying the basics are not important in a relationship. Matter of fact, you need the basics to balance things out in your relationship.
I have seen relationships were people ignore the basics and try to only focus on improving their partners. Such relationships crash because they seem like instructors, teachers and mentors, rather than as lovers.
By all means, you need the basics, because the romantic dates, hugs, kisses, sex and others are the oil that keep the relationship running. They are necessary and should be present in every relationship. But what this article tries to explain is that what would make the relationship productive is not just the oil, but the output of the machine. The basics will oil the machine, but your extra mile with your partner serves as the productivity that your relationship will birth.
You’d agree with me that if one of the two of you isn’t doing too well in life, it’s only a matter of time before the other gets tired.
Most relationships will have the basics, but when you are done getting the basics, what’s left of you? You need to think of that invaluable thing that your partner gives you, which you can’t get from just anyone!
Get you a partner that can offer something more than ordinary, something quite uncommon.
Sex, food, trips, and others are nice, but they aren’t invaluable, are they?
Fall in love, but also find value in your relationship. That is what you should demand from your partner!