Not every youngster is saving himself or herself until the wedding. That also complicates relationship dynamics because there is a great deal of sensitivity and etiquette involved when an experienced person is dating a virgin. This article highlights what you need to understand in a relationship with a virgin.
There’s a reason why people end up saving themselves longer than their peers. Sometimes it’s a matter of choice. Some other times it is circumstantial — you’ve probably spent 30 years of your life with no luck in the dating department, therefore, there’s been no real movement in the coitus department either.
Whatever the reasons may be, it is important to be understanding of why your partner feels that way without taking it upon yourself to “convert” them.
There’s no undoing that, so make sure you’re not being boorish about something you’re not even attempting to understand. There’s a lifetime ahead for sex. It doesn’t have to be right now.
Be NOT judgmental
Just because you’ve chosen to remain a virgin for whatever reasons that suit you, you cannot and should not be sitting on a moral higher ground about it. There’s nothing more annoying than you holding your partner’s past against him/her, particularly if that information has been volunteered to you without a shred of hesitation.
How does being a virgin make you a more superior person? And how does having the experience in bed make you a cooler person? If you’re expecting the other person to be understanding of your restraint or the lack of, you must reserve judgment on the choices made by others. Being a virgin doesn’t make one a saint-like boring person, but neither is having a sexual past indicative of full-blown promiscuity.
Whilst it is not a moral standard to have sex before marriage, you should not judge others for past mistakes.
There is a very high chance that a person has remained a virgin more out of hesitation than out of personal choice. Sometimes even people who have dated before, have been reluctant to drop their guard and their clothes for fear of failure or rejection.
Being conscious of that situation will serve you well because it would mean being sensitive to one’s vulnerability and insecurities.
Help the reluctant partner in lightening up and dropping their guard. That doesn’t mean you need to get your partner drunk to the point of being completely incapable of comprehending the situation. But a little tipple helps lose inhibition and that’s a big step.
The best part about dating a virgin is the tremendous focus on being romantic. Since there’s little beyond that expected in such an arrangement, the romance is all one has at hand.
When sex is off the table, then one ends up putting much thought and time into ensuring that the romantic sessions are memorable and exciting. There’s more time devoted to hugging, kissing, petting, the works.
So embrace your individual choices and make the most of them until both of you are truly ready. Don’t let your friends’ jibes about dating a virgin or a pal with a past get to you. Sex is immensely pleasurable but can often be the most overrated component in a relationship.