I’ve been friends with a guy for about two years. We were just friends and I never had any inclination that we would ever get together but some months back he kissed me, and that led us into having a more intimate relationship. We saw each other every day as we live close to each other. It was brilliant, and exactly how I wanted a relationship to be. There seemed to be no bull attached to it and we were best friends who were going out together. He got a new job, and was able to move into a new apartment and live a better life. All these happened when we got together, so I knew I meant a lot to him. He had got a second chance at loving again. He had been heartbroken for many years and had not been with anyone for years until I came along.
But he has major walls built up around him. We reached a certain point and then it looked like he was closing up. This made me think he had lost interest and I made a comment that it felt like I was just a burden, and that created an argument where he just walked away and wouldn’t talk to me.
We met up the following week to go walking. He told me he was still going through heartbreak as his former relationship was really painful and the break-up even worse. His ex-girlfriend cheated on him for years and then cleaned out his bank accounts before she left. While we were dating he related a lot of stuff about her that I found difficult to listen to. I knew he was living in the past. He couldn’t let it go.
We tried to take a break while he was seeking help but it was difficult and I missed him so much so we continued on together. We subsequently had an argument about him being hours late for a date but he couldn’t handle that conflict, so now we have been on a break again. I have been texting, but he has made no effort with me. Back in May, he said he couldn’t give me the attention I needed until he sorted out the stuff in his head about the pain he suffered from his former relationship. He asked me to wait for him. A month ago, I asked him if he wanted to call it a day because it was so much pressure on us both. He said he was really busy and didn’t have time to think about anything.
Now he has gone away for a few days. Originally I was supposed to go with him but with everything going on he never said anything. He called me before he left and I told him when he comes back we really have to talk. I don’t know if he will get in touch because I don’t think he knows what to do. I met him two weeks ago and he hugged me and gave me a kiss like everything was fine.
I love this guy and we had such a brilliant time together I don’t want to let it go. Please advise me. Should I take control and tell him I want to spend the rest of my life with him or should I keep my pride and break up?
– Hadassah. P
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