This is not a story of how boy meets girl, but rather how love found its way home in two lost souls.
Relationships among our generation is quite complicated. I am in a three-year relationship with a guy, he is my first. In our three years of togetherness, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve been through a roller-coaster ride and we have wandered like two lost souls. It is nowhere near perfect. But as the time passes by, I’ve realized a lot.
When you feel like giving up, all the built up stress and frustration you’ve felt throughout the past few days, weeks, and months, the throbbing pain in your chest is impossible to ignore. For the ones who stood through those hard times and counted the days you’ve cried to sleep at night I cannot tell you that everything is going to be all right because you wouldn’t be struggling now if it is. Our mind tells us who we should love and our heart tells us who we actually love, but at the same time, our mind can give us the answers when our hearts start to wonder. It’s all from within so ask yourself deeply. Weigh things when doubts and confusions start to enter.
How do you feel when your lover tells you that your relationship is fading away and you have to accept that as a fact? Telling me to accept it and just let things be. The moment you phrase out the state of your relationship as something that has thinned down in time is like announcing that you are surrendering without taking any effort to fix things.
It was on our second year when our relationship became shaky. Lies, cheating, priorities became our hardest challenges. Yes, we took these as challenges. Being with a guy who has already cheated on you is hard, doubts are there, sadness is there. But I admit, love and forgiveness can prevail. In love, it is not always that we look for perfection. It is how you still choose to stay despite the challenges and how strong you learn to forgive. Our relationship is not a fault-proof, but it has with a right amount of love and a little allowance for mistakes.
I am not suggesting that you open up to the first person who comes along. I am suggesting that when you have a connection with someone, when you feel it, when you are so scared of how much you feel it; go in the opposite direction of your fear. Do not be afraid of the love you feel. Know this, the right person will meet you. The right person will show up. But they can’t if you don’t open. Learn to value openness and rebuilding your heart more than being safe. Don’t let the wounds of the past create a wounded future. No. It can be different and this time, it’s different.
To a man with dignity and principles, the most responsible, intelligent, God-fearing, and down to earth man I know. My happy place. I want to take this time to thank him for everything. For loving me despite all my issues and insecurities.Thank you for accepting my troubled past, my immaturity, my overactive tear ducts, and my tendency to be too clingy. For putting up with all my self-hate and mood swings, for being there all the time, for loving all my imperfections, for being such a patient and loving better-half, and for proving me wrong that nobody could ever love and accept me. This may sound clichè but, I will always be the lucky one, for I have him. We’re writing our history together.
Camille is a student of Notre Dame of Dadiangas University
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