turn your man to a sure ATM

How to turn your man to a sure ATM

Lookatew! Just take a good lookatew! So you came here to know how to turn your man to a sure ATM abi? Oya na! You will learn lesson today. Just remember that it was you that brought yaself here, issnor me that is about to teach you bad thing. hehehe.

Abeg wetin be ATM sef? For the sake of posterity, I will tell you. ATM means Automated Teller Machine. Inugo??? The machine that always spits out money in banks. Darrisit!  Today, I am about to teach you how to make your man spit money like a sure ATM, anytime you want (without using him for blood money ooo).



So, focus and go with me as we look at different ways to make your man a sure ATM.

Open an account

Wait! do you think you can just walk up to an ATM and start to make withdrawals when you don’t have a bank account. Same way here; you need to operate an account, simply put – get a MAN. Make sure you choose your bank (MAN) with wisdom, consider factors like distance, availability, customer service and others.  Then proceed to open an account (creep into his heart) How? I don’t know, maybe through your charming smile, your nice attitude, your cooking ability, your heavy duty assets, anything at all…just open an account!


Make a deposit

You get what you give or even more, right? I’m sure you agree with that. Before your man can be a potential ATM, you must have deposited something in him. Why will he give you money na? Who you epp? Except you want to lock him in a nice wardrobe or maybe a room, decorate his environment with nice shades of black and/or red designed with cowries, make him tie a red wrapper(black too will fit in), place a big calabash like that of the Fulanis on his head, and watch him vomit money faster and better than the ATM machine. If you don’t have plans to do that, then you have to make your deposits, support him, pray for him, advise him, believe in him, encourage him. Deposit is not once o, it’s a continuous process.

NB: You don’t have to sleep with him.


Get an ATM card

Now you have an account and you have made (still making) deposits, it’s time to get your ATM card. You won’t have to join the queue of his friends and other things waiting to make withdrawals from him (they all will be using withdrawal slip), so the need for the ATM card. In this case, your ATM card will be your ATTITUDE towards him and the things he cares about. While dealing with him you need to put some RESPECK on it but not at the detriment of your self-esteem. But if you are an Edo or Ijebu girl **pops collar**, you know how we roll na**winks**, our ATM card can sometimes be some powdery black substance! lol.


Activate your ATM card

Getting the card is not enough, babe you have to activate that card. Activating ATM card is so easy, you just have to change your pin right?? Exactly! So let me tell you how. Your former pin is that conventional “Baby, please…” formal way of making money request. It has to be change! Your new pin will be his “mumu button”, get to know his mumu button and use appropriately. For security purpose, remember to guard your pin, avoid sharing it with other people, and also make sure you change it when the need arises.

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Know your withdrawal limit

Now that you know how to make withdrawals, I must remind you that there is always a withdrawal limit for every bank. Don’t go overboard with your requests. Know when to stop and when to keep going. Also know that you may not be able to withdraw more than you have deposited, except he is doing a Promo, his service is compromised, or someone has hacked into him (God help you the hacker is from Edo or Ijebu, you are finished!).


Always check and understand the service status

You should understand your man’s mood before making requests. You need to check if he is in a good service mood, if he is, can he dispense at that time? If something is wrong at that time, relax till when he is up and running so he won’t swallow your card.


Treat his staff right

The fact that you are banking with him, means you are banking with people around him. Don’t look down on his friends, don’t insult his family, don’t shrug your shoulders on his colleagues. Don’t get involved in criminal activities using these people as allies. If you don’t like any service offered to you by any of his staff, gently and politely make your complaints.


Adhere to rules

Adhere to banking and withdrawal rules, to avoid dismissal from the network. But if you act too smart and you are unable to keep the service going, please be kind to send us your breakup story.



Disclaimer: The writer of this article will not be responsible for any negative result from the above methods, but will take credits for the positive results after your man has become a sure ATM (if you didn’t use charm).


Hehehe, I remain MOYOSORE…Scribbling in the LIGHT-HEARTED Category of GLOWVILLE.


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