I am at that point in my life where it is hard to trust a person enough to start a relationship again. Or that point where you know that entering into a relationship would mean you are halfheartedly expecting your partner to mess up. So if (when) he actually does, you could be hurt but not caught unawares. Here’s the story of how my immediate ex took me for granted and lost me completely.
I started dating this guy over a year ago. He had “chased” me for months and at the time I said yes to him, I was very sure I was making the right choice. For me, he ticked all the boxes rightly. He was caring, he was considerate, he was sweet, name it, name everything good a lady wants in a guy and he was it!
And I thought I had gotten myself a good man until he started switching attitude several weeks later. He first changed from the caring Mr Charming to someone who seemed largely uninterested. Then he turned into a monster who picked up fights over everything I complained about that he wasn’t doing well. Then he stopped wanting to spend time with me and started being extremely irritable. And then he stopped calling or texting.
I didn’t know if I had a hand in it and I kept asking him what I did wrong but he never talked. I was mostly hurt, heartbroken and my self-esteem took a plunge. Soon, I started to feel unwanted and unloved and began to think there was a problem with me.
Months later, I decided to move on (albeit a little too late) and spend time on my own. I figured staying away would help me a lot. So I broke up with him to his utter dismay.
He was shocked I could ever break up. He’s been apologizing for weeks now after realizing he took me for granted. He has explained that he didn’t know he was hurting me. And that a breaking up was not what he ever thought could happen.
I wish I could take him back but I’ve been too hurt and I am scared of him hurting me again. He appears really sorry and has been trying to keep in touch more often than usual. But I keep telling myself he was all sweet before we started dating and I am not ready to go through the trauma I went through again.
Here’s just my piece of advice to guys (and well, ladies too)- If someone loves you so much, don’t take them for granted. Stop hurting them thinking they’ll always be there. Because truth is, good people leave and when they leave, it’s hard to come back.