It’s not happy times right now in the marriage of Tiwa Savage and Teebillz. It is no longer news how the two have been snowballing accusations at each other since Teebillz made a revelation on Instagram on 28th of April. Tiwa Savage and Teebillz marriage crisis may have come as a shock to many, but if you have read about all that transpired between them, you will agree that there are some vital lessons every youth must learn from what the celebrity couple are currently passing through.
These vital lessons have been gathered from two sources, Elsie Godwin shares her opinion on the Nine Marriage Lessons to learn from the failed marriage, and Tosin Ayo, a Lawyer and Social Commentator shared a thought-provoking Fifteen lessons from Tiwa Savage and Teebillz Marriage Crisis.
Let’s begin with Elsie’s opinion:
Relationship is always a game of risk. Even when you think you have checked for all the red flags, people change, dumb things happen but at the end of the day, it’s a relationship. I watched the video yesterday and I was almost moved to tears.
I could vividly imagine what Tiwa Savage must have gone through trying to be a loving wife to her now ex-husband – Tunji Balogun. How much she had stomached to keep up with appearance which a lot of y’all calling her names right now do. The only difference here is that she is a celebrity and some tiny little bits of her private life seems everywhere, fueling dumb rumours and dumb people trying to judge a woman who in my opinion, the only thing she did wrong is trying to keep a happy home.
I got the news of her reaction while I was still on air last night, trust me, I couldn’t wait to watch. Once I got off my program, I landed on youtube. I have seen people whose home are in shambles, women especially, whose source of livelihood is taking the next flight to Abuja to see the next big boy in town for some sex and cool cash talking nonsense on social media, saying the video wasn’t necessary and all that. These words are for you all – you will never be the woman Tiwa Savage is today. I do not blame you all though, na condition cause am. Some of you all don’t even have the patience or MB to watch the video, I perfectly understand your ignorance.
Just like my podcast on Thursday, there are lessons in every situation. So while you all turn yourselves to judges, please learn. I have learnt and must share. Read below, 9 Lessons To Learn From Their Failed Marriage
- Age is just a number
I watched her confess to her weakness yesterday and all I wanted to do at that point was to reach out to Tiwa Savage, give her a big hug and tell her how strong she is. Most women who we will never have the opportunity of hearing their own stories have made terrible decision because…Age. Dear ladies, this is the 21st century, age should not drive you into fire. Take note.
- Do not settle for less
No matter how old you are or how deep you think you are in, do not settle for less. You will either have a broken home or live bitter for the rest of your life
- Look out for the red flags
Always look out for the red flags. The interviewer who I thought was very annoying all through the interview, managed to ask her a very vital question. She asked if she didn’t see these signs before marriage. Tiwa Savage admitted to the fact that she was warned before marriage, she saw some signs but she wasn’t paying attention.
- Let your head make decisions not your heart
When some of us fall in love, we fall foolishly. Kindly remember to take your head along. Love is always not all we need for a successful marriage
- Listen to warnings, we are not all against your happiness
We are not all haters. If you are about to make important decisions such as marriage, when 2, 3, 4 or more people tell you it’s a NO, try to find out why. We cannot all be bitter or haters.
- Marry for the right reasons
Don’t marry out of pity. From Tunji Balogun’s rants on social media and the whole drama playing out right now, I will say part of the reasons which fueled her decision is to appreciate Teebillz for allegedly picking her up from the gutter. Though this said gutter was in the abroad o…ok…you get the point. Marry for the right reasons
- Talk about everything, including finance
Everything should be talked about. From sex to finance. Money and relationship has been the theme of my radio program for 2weeks now, though we are done but people still don’t get the point. You must talk about your income, your spending habits and your projections. Don’t assume it will all work itself out. An acquaintance still said to me last night after the radio program that the part of the reasons he didn’t listen was because, in his words, “not my kind of topic, i never enjoyed the topic”. Let me just SMH and move on. Don’t assume your partner will be man or woman enough to know his or her responsibilities. We come from different homes, different backgrounds, hence different orientation.
- Take a walk when necessary
Relationship is not do or die! Heck, marriage is not do or die. Its not rocket science, if its not working for you, its not working. Try all you can but when it doesn’t, please take a walk. You worried about what people will say? Let them say while you maintain your sanity and peace.
- Do not let society define your success or happiness
Let not the society define you. LET NOT WHAT YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA DEFINE YOU. Define your success, define your happiness, stand by them and make them work.
It doesn’t end there, wait till you have read Barrister Tosin Ayo’s version…you will be glad you did! It will give you a much needed relief to all the tension that the whole issue has built over time. Please enjoy below.
Vital Lessons from Tiwa Savage and Teebillz Marriage Crisis
1. If you make money in Nigeria from shows and music CDs bought by average Nigerians, don’t take your wedding to Dubai where Nigerians can’t come and eat Jollof. We also have a spirit head, ‘Eleda’ and it fights for us. You can’t refuse people from reaping where they have sown without dire consequences.
2. The one who takes weed during courtship will take cocaine in marriage. The one who will be epileptic at night will begin with convulsion by day. He who smokes cigarette in public will smoke marijuana in private. Don’t ignore the signs. Don’t kill yourself.
3. What you won’t take as a rich man or woman, don’t condone it in poverty. You won’t always be poor and desperate. Think.
4. Always separate business or career from pleasure. Making your undisciplined spouse your business manager always boomerangs. There is no heritage between father and son without a clearly defined delineation. Excessive familiarity is the harbinger of career contempt.
5. If you must cheat, cheat creatively. Why save a side chic’s number on your mobile phone with a suggestive name like ‘edible catering’ when ‘Voicemail’, ‘Customer care’, ‘Subomi spare part’ will do the magic? If you cannot successfully cheat without being caught by so uncreatively saving a side chic’s number as edible catering, how can you successfully blackmail your spouse on instagram without blaming hackers for it?
6. Don’t wash your dirty linen on social media. Divorce is best achieved in the Law court, not on instagram.
7. There is no point trying to explain yourself to those who are genuinely committed to not understanding you. Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. Reacting to a scandalous allegation does not diminish it, rather; it propagates it to the hearing of those who didn’t hear it in the first instance.
8. Whatever you permit to continue in your life and marriage will continue. Abuse, cheating, overlooking personal indiscipline and unpardonable ineptitude inclusive.
9. Money is the greatest fuel for igniting the destruction of longstanding friendship and relationships. Romance without finance is an annoying nuisance. Money gives honey to marriages. Communal feast is not sweet when a participating member of the feast is not a contributory member.
10. That you made someone is no license to recklessly milk them to death. The fowl which lays eggs also feels the pain of delivery. It takes a special kind of inferior archaic insecurity to perpetually reside in the past of little beginning and habitually revel in the pettiness of tokenism.
11. Real men do not kiss and tell or shag and brag. It is foolish to reveal your bitter past to an uncouth partner in the moment of passion, for he will reveal same to the public in the quest for hurtful vengeance in the infuriating fist of rage.
12. Those who really want to die by killing themselves, do not mouth it, or announce it, they just do. Suicide is a solitary termination of one’s miserable existence at the expiration of hope, not an attention-seeking dramatic announcement of death threat with the hope of rescue at the glare of public exposure. Death is a serious sturvs, it’s not a joking sturvs, be serious.
13. If a man cannot successfully manage his life, it is self-hatred to commit your life, love, emotion, career and business in his incapable hands. The one who open-eyedly marries such a mess is a brave risk-taker. Worse still, the one who happily marries a rejected marital left over should prepare for a shocking leg over after the emotional hang over!
14. When you settle down rather than marry up, be ready to be let down.
15. If a man cannot successfully plan and execute his own suicide, what more proof do you need to ascertain his specialty of failure in everything?
Your turn to write, what have you learnt from Tiwa Savage and Teebillz Marriage Crisis thus far?