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I once dated this very abusive young man. He never made any direct insults but he made indirect derogatory remarks to my face.
I told him about some friendships and experiences I had been in in the past and when his demons came, which was almost always, he’d refer to those tales and make abusive statements.
Once we bumped into a friend I told him about, he didn’t wait for the guy to be out of earshot before he began to talk trash. One of the manifestation of his demons.
Even though he knew I was interested in the music business, he’d always criticize female artistes. He described many of them as sluts and ‘pitied’ their partners.>
Did I mention that he was highly insecure? He was. Once this mega celebrity from the East came was standing right beside me. We got talking and the guy was very nice. Boyfriend became very jealous and instead of thinking about how friendship with the celebrity would boost my career, he thought about sex so he told me tales of how celebrities could damage your life and reputation. Roger that.
The next time another celebrity came around and was sitting directly opposite me, I just said hi and we left.
Worse of all, he was an e-misogynist. Facebook and its amebo would always lead me to posts where he commented and I’d read his horrible opinions on women.
There really wasn’t anything wonderful about him because in real life, by virtue of my profession, I was way above him, judging by the government salary strata . He was just some normal or rather abnormal guy.
Dude would just wake up one day and block me on all social media platforms, only to re-add me days later. On some days, he’d ignore my calls for days and then wake up one day and remember how much he loved and missed me so he’d call me continuously for nearly fifty times until I picked.
Many times I thought I was the one doing things the wrong way. I know I had my faults. I can’t deny that. He often said I was too bold and confident. I figured he wanted an Indomie girlfriend so I tried to adjust to suit his abnormality until I one day realised that it wasn’t me. He was just a depressed soul that needed help(I don’t mean this in a bad way). I couldn’t give that kind of help at that time.
He lost his mum when he was barely five, had an abusive dad who wanted him to be a doctor but unfortunately (for his dad) , he didn’t gain admission into medicine so he studied some other course.
His dad constantly reminded him that he was a disappointment. The man treated him like a child.
I had my own life issues I was battling and handling another person’s was the last thing I was prepared to do then. One day after a week long silence from him, I called and he picked my call. I told him I was done with whatever it was we were doing. The young man didn’t even bother. He simply said “okay” and went about his normal life.
Not that I expected him to be sad but as someone who claimed he loved,I thought he should have at least shown some concern as to why I wanted out. Oga no send me
After we broke up I eventually found out he had lied about certain things concerning what he did for a living.
The signs were obvious. He struggled with many demons. He had psychological issues and needed therapy. I don’t know how I missed them from the beginning.
Was I ashamed? Totally.
Did I feel stupid? Completely.
Like what the
fuck did I even think I had been doing with him all that time? I laughed at my self and went on with my life.
We didn’t last up to seven months so I have sent him and his demons to chill in my list of failed advanced friendships.
I learned a lot on self esteem, maturity, secrecy, emotional stability and mental health from whatever it was we did.
Don’t feel sorry for me please. This is a very old story.