wives kneeling to feed their husbands

Should wives stop kneeling to feed their husbands at weddings?

This week, we are not just trying to divide opinion, we are delving into something controversial; going against the norm. We are taking a second look at the idea of wives kneeling to feed their husbands at weddings. It is a custom that has lived with us for years, is it time to ditch this age-long culture?

By the way, who started the idea of wives kneeling to feed their husbands at weddings? This is what our social media vox-pop covener, Olubunmi Mabel has to say about the whole idea:

“If you like, say she has started again.

This ‘feed your husband’ stuff that is usually done during wedding reception, I don’t think I like it. I don’t actually.

To me, it’s hypocrisy.

Why should you kneel to feed your husband cake and drink in public when you know that it won’t be like that after that moment? It’s all scam. You know you won’t do that in your home.

I know it’s culture and a proof of a ‘well trained’ lady and a ‘submissive wife’. But it doesn’t make sense to me.

Biko, M.Cs, come up with more exciting and creative 21st century activities, and do away with obsolete ones!”


She is obviously going hardcore against it. Are you standing behind or against her on this. Choose your lot and share your opinion with us in the comments box below.



Adeniyi Esther: Culture (in this century) thrives in hypocrisy. I am so fed up with irrelevant stuff…And sooooooo, because of silly culture, your day is completely ruined. Mtchwwwwwww…..I think there must be a way to regulate what MCs and all those ‘alagas’ do. There should. It is my wedding, my something and my thing. Chai, I envy daughters of parents who like simple stuff.

Afolake Wonder: Scam indeed… and the way they delay sombori all in the name of …. “e je ka shey bi won tin shey” (let us do it they way it has always been done) – who are the “won”? Must I follow the crowd?

Dhaisey Sparkles: Its nothing to me…just a show of love to him in public….no big deal in it. To everyone saying it’s obsolet, please bring up ideas to replace it because I won’t want anyone judging me on this, especially on my wedding day. If you think it’s old fashioned, tell me what’s new. If you don’t know, then leave it as it is….thanks.

Olumide Lawrence: I have always said this. I tried changing the status quo at a wedding I MC’ed. The couple agreed to it but their parents objected. I think it’s something that has stuck with our parents and changing it overnight wont work. Give it a few years down the line, after most of them would have gone to rest, you will hardly find some of these things anymore. That is even if people will still regard the traditional wedding ceremony as necessary. Just a few friends and family members and you are wedded. Lobatan.

Prince Vicade: As for me, if you won’t kneel to feed me at home, don’t kneel to give me food on the wedding day!

Chysophy Prince:  I broke some many rules on my wedding . Some of them are 1 – I did not cover my face, why cover face when I wasn’t a virgin. 2- I did not kneel down to feed him cake and others. I did not start anything I could not sustain. Need I say I did not search for him during traditional marriage.

Mathew Tope David: Sooooooo definitely they need to stop making men prostrate and hold the ankles of the father-in-law and mother-in-law then, since I obviously wouldn’t be doing that each and every time a see them… tongue emoticon.

Oni Victor: Is it not also hypocritical for the guy to kneel and propose? (a practice defined by the culture)

Deji McWord: I weep for the African nation. How colonial masters did a ‘good’ job in reconfiguring our minds to believe that anything that’s ours must be barbaric. It is people with attitudes such as these that would celebrate and greet each other ‘Happy Halloween’ but see nothing good in the new yam festival. Do you know the inspiration behind Halloween? It is our beauty we are shedding away. As a student of brand architecture and projection, I know one thing, what is peculiar to a brand is the only reason why someone would identify with it. Imitation in the marketplace have a lifespan less than an inch.

Ibukun Owoeye: So not kneeling in the reception of a white wedding means you have murdered your culture? I guess I might be a murderer in the nearest future. How has the kneeling saved marriages? How has the kneeling at the reception helped to shape a happy home? Does it mean the wife doesnt verbally abuse her husband? or does it mean the husband does not deal with the wife with heavy blows and slaps?

Martins Ibikunle: I can understand your point but largely a woman’s entire dignity is not in her knees. Sometimes in life it’s beneficial to allow our cultural values and benefits to affect and define the way we do things. In Ibo land for example a man kneels down to propose to a woman for marriage for marriage a culture that is gradually creeping into Yoruba race. So if a man does that why not a woman? Honestly the idea goes beyond the cake and kneeling down but depicts respect for the man infront of relatives, friends and Well wishers. Kneeling down for him is a reassurance of his manhood and an introduction to the woman that she must submit to her husband right from the wedding day. I once read about a lady who did it purely to make her husband family to know that this ‘Oyinbo ‘wife was indeed raised right by her parents. My dear Mabel be prepared for this ritual on the appointed date. I pray to be there by His grace.

Ayobami Ogedengbe: It is a traditional rite that comes with the traditional ceremony. It’s a ritual for the day, the purpose is not to make the woman do so for the rest of her life. It’s like the bride price and the whole eru iyawo, letter, prostrating for the parents… ETC. That day is the last day the man will ever go as flat as that for any of both parents. It’s just a traditional ritual for the occasion.


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The panelists have spoken, what say you?

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