I understand the need for friendship. I can put up with the ‘girls’ night out’ thingy. But when you start letting your single girlfriends (who constantly run guys off or haven’t dated since antenna TV) get into the business of your relationship, that’s asking for trouble. You want to think that your man has a mind of his own when he’s out with the guys, right? We’re no different. We expect you to talk to your girlfriends, even if it’s about us. Just be careful what you decide to bring back from those conversations. My ex and I had our issues; she loved her friends more than me and left me no choice than putting an end to our relationship.
We had everything going right for us. Anita and I were the ‘perfect couple’, and the envy of people who were close to us. We had been friends since secondary school but we started dating after a few months after our Youth Service. A lot of people had seen it coming and it was really lauded when we made it official. Like I said earlier, we had everything going fine except the fact that Anita was really crazy about her friends; they were almost like her mini-gods.
They were always together, having fun, attending parties, night outs, or just locked up in one house for a whole weekend. She spent much more time with her friends than she did with me. The fact is that, she had been like that before we started dating, but she assured me she would change. When I asked her about it, she said the change will come but it will be gradual. I had to exercise patience.
Initially, I didn’t have issues with her discussing me with her friends, but when it got to the point where every little detail that should be private became a public issue between her and her friends, I had to start drawing the line; albeit with love. I scolded her one day, and she reported me to her friends!
The situation deteriorated totally when Anita began to use words like ‘my friends told me not to…’, ‘my friends will laugh at me if I…’, and ‘I will ask what my friends think about it and get back to you…’. We had a serious argument and I had to go to her friends to warn them off my woman. Anita got really mad at me for doing that and in a desperate bid to get her off them, I asked her to choose between me and her friends. To my utmost shock, she chose her friends.
So we ended our eleven months ‘part-time’ relationship and friendship that spanned almost ten years.
We still talk a few times, but I don’t think I will date Anita again, even if the chance presented itself – afterall, she loved her friends more than me.
– Kingsley. A