bad relationship

Never settle for a bad relationship, even at 40!

This issue is rampant among ladies who are getting no younger and therefore feel the need to settle for just anything. Some get lucky and have a fairy tale marriage, but for others, I have decided to write this post – to let you know that even at 40 years of age, a bad relationship is a bad relationship!

I used to know a friend who was in a bad relationship. (I haven’t seen her since we had this discussion) She secretly dated a man for six months, lying to her family about it because he’s from a different tribe and her parents did not support inter-tribal marriages.

However, as at the time of meeting me, she didn’t know if she wanted to continue with the relationship.

She found out that they were very different in likes, value systems and thinking. He was an unambitious shop attendant, happy living in a one room apartment and renting forever. He drinks a lot daily, and smokes marijuana daily. But this lady was a hard worker always striving for better.

This lady eventually moved back with her parents due to debt, and when she met me, she had been working and living frugally. She hoped to be debt-free in six months, and should have saved for the deposit to rent a place for herself in another six months.

Sadly and irritating enough, her boyfriend didn’t agree with her plan and felt that moving in would be great for them both.

This lady started seeing the fact that the relationship wouldn’t work. She sometimes lied to get out of seeing him. It became clear the relationship was geared only to his benefit.

Some more unbelievable facts about this guy is that he doesn’t like meaningful conversation, and hates and avoids stress. When she is  having issues at work or at home, he cuts her off that she stopped confiding anything to him.

Now here is my point; Having counted all these ordeals the poor lady is facing, her friends said she should just accept what she gets because the pickings are slim now, at age 40!

Who does that? Yes, I know…a lot of ladies do, because they are desperate to hang on to a man. They are scared of what the society will say about them. So they sell themselves in slavery to a man who will make them miserable for the rest of their lives, and they may end up passing that bitterness into their children.

Do I need to remind anyone that you are likely to spend more years in marriage than the years you have spent as a single? You will not want to waste the better part of your life in misery. A good man will come at God’s appointed time. There is a MAN for every WOMAN.

No one should accept a poor relationship due to “slim pickings.”

If you find yourself in a similar situation as this lady, tell that “nice, caring” guy that you both should go separate ways. Age 40 or whatever age you are is time for you to believe in yourself, not in your friends’ jaded views.


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