Are you admiring a girl but you are unsure of what questions to ask on a first chat? Or you are wondering why you’ve been chatting that girl up or trying to get her attention on social media but she keeps snubbing or not paying attention to you? You have probably been doing it the wrong way. Worry no more, friend. After reading and trying these tips, you could be going on a date with her very soon.
Here are some questions to ask on a first chat that should make her look forward to hearing from you again.
1. I hope you had a great day or I hope you slept well?
This is the best way to ask about her day or night. This question of course depends on when you are having the chat. Please avoid saying “how was your day?” or “how was your night?” She might be like, “how is ‘my day’ or ‘my night’ any of your business? Should I tell you how I slept or what I did during the night or day”? It’ll only make you look like you are nosy and a lot of ladies don’t like it when you pry.
Remember, ladies like to hear positive (call it sweet) things. Saying words like “hope” and “great” will connote that you want her to have the best. And even if the day or night happens not to be too good or did not go as planned, she would be willing to spill it all out to you, without even knowing it or you probing deep.
Having done this, you can go ahead and introduce yourself. Tell her why you sent her a request or chatted her up. Don’t talk too much or use high-sounding words in the bid to get her impressed. You might end up getting her irritated, bored or even pissed. Make it conversational, give her the chance to talk about herself too.
2. How do you spend the weekend or free time?
It’s likely that you are very much into this girl and can’t wait to see her. That’s not a problem. But you shouldn’t go with that silly line: “Can you come and see me?”
That’s a wrong question to ask and you might end up chasing her away. Alternatively, you can lure her in with a question like this;
How do you spend the weekend or free time?
What do you enjoy doing?
What do you do with your free time?
Through this kind of question, you will get to know what she likes doing. You will know if she is the movie, music type or the bookworm, and that become an opening to the next question…
3. What’s your favorite movie, artiste, author etc?
If you find out that you both have similar interests, this question can take you both to a different level of conversation altogether. This is because you can go on and understand who she likes and why she likes them, thereby making the conversation get smoother and interesting. On the flip side, if you don’t have similar interests, you can use it to gain new insights and learn. That’s also to include the opportunity to let her see what’s different about your interests. With all of these, you’ll find yourselves chatting for hours without taking note of the time.
4. Any best friends? What qualities do you seek in a friend?
This question can be determined by the answer you get from the question about how she spends free time. If she’s the outdoor type, of course her answer to question 2 above would be, “hanging out with friends”. You can then ask what her friend(s) are like, which would usher you into asking who her best friend(s) is and the qualities she seeks in a friend. If she’s the reserved type who hardly goes out and doesn’t keep friends, don’t just ask her, “why?”. Being direct in that way get some ladies irritated easily.
You could just ask “no best friend(s)?”
If the answer remains a NO, just go ahead and ask the qualities she’d like or want in a friend. If she tells you, then you have the answer to your “why”.
5. What’s the best place in the world you’d like to go to or live in?
At this point, you are already doing a good job of getting her interested and comfortable with you. This next question is a good way to test what she thinks about you, or to know what she thinks about hanging out with you. When she answers the question above, you can jokingly drop this line: “I’d like to be the one to take you there someday”, accompany it with a funny smiley/sticker”. Her response will give you a hint. But it’s been tested and trusted that if she’s equally into you, that response will get her smiling. With this, she’s already looking forward to seeing you without you asking. This is one of my favourite questions to ask on a first chat.
6. What’s your happiest childhood memory?
By this time, she is quite comfortable with you and could tell you as much as you’d like to hear. This question will only make sure the conversation continues on a smooth flow. Taking a ride into the past is a good idea that will make you responsible for evoking certain feelings from her past. Ladies love guys who can inspire certain memories from them.
7. Tell me about your siblings?
This is the best way of getting to know about her family. You don’t just say, “tell me about your family” or “how many are you in your family?” no, that’s too forward and we don’t like forward questions (Sebi na una say women no dey like hear things as e be, well it’s true, we don’t want you being too forward, come with style and you’ll get what you want).
With this simple question you’d know everything you need to know about her family and with that you can move to another question like who she’s closest to in the family and why.
8. What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?
At this point, she’s willing to reveal more about herself to you. So this question will further enhance the conversation and expose much more about her, which ordinarily, you wouldn’t have known. As she answers, try to empathize with her. You can also take the gauntlet and share your story.
9. Finally, that question you’ve been dying to ask, “can we hangout?”?
Of all the questions to ask on a first chat, this is the trickiest. You may have been getting a lot of smiles, laughter, funny smileys or stickers; don’t think it is enough to ask her to come see you. Except you want to crash what you’ve been building, don’t haphazardly ask that question.
You can go like this.
If she’s a movie lover:
“I’ll be going to the cinema to see a movie “Vikings” it’s a new movie and you’ll like it a lot. You could join me, if you wouldn’t mind.” or “will you like to tag along? You’d have a lot of fun.”
But if she’s strictly the indoor type you can go like:
“I know you don’t like hanging out, but why not give it a try with me? I guarantee you’ll enjoy it, that’s if you don’t mind giving me the chance though”.
She could bring up excuses as to why she can’t, but just a little more push and she might agree.
This is a lot better than the pretty annoying “Can you come and see me” question a lot of guys ask girls when chatting.
Thanks for reading.
You can share this with your family/ friends and also share with us how you’ve been able to engage that damsel in a conversation and subsequently going on a date with her, using the comment box. If you also have more ideas about questions to ask on a first chat, be kind to share with us.