It’s another Tuesday, and we are going very light on regular relationship and societal issues again. Last week, we had our searchlight on the two types of husbands now trending in Nigeria. If you missed that, you can read it here. This week, we have a direct reaction to that article; someone is retorting for the ladies. Here is a list of the six (6) types of women available in the Nigerian wife market.
Please read carefully if you are about to visit the Nigerian Wife Market to shop for a wife. You may just have your pick among these, or look elsewhere. It’s your choice actually.
Lest I forget, this list was drawn up by Moyosore. You can google her up to know who she is… I didn’t do this list, so don’t come after me. Lol.
Here we go…
Black Friday Wives
If you are familiar with the popular Black Friday sales on e-commerce websites, you will notice the products sold on Black Friday used to be very expensive and would have probably stayed too long in the warehouse, so the need for discounted sales. These kind of wives used to have very high standards in a man they want to marry, things like: He must be tall, dark and handsome, working with 2 cars, family stays abroad and all those outrageous characteristics you can think of (we all know one or two of ladies like that). Few years down the line, bae is over 30 and still looking for the perfect man to marry. Now she just has to do a re-check on her type of man while still not loosing her value or worth. Most of them end up going at a discount after many vigils and fire fire revivals in the church. Such people are the type you see at the back of church leaflets with testimonies such as “Marriage curse broken!”, “Finally married after 10 years of searching” etc.
Black Market Wives
These one would have tasted all kind of men in all the tribes from Nigeria and the world (in some cases), still maintaining their class and all those value they pretend to have. They are the type you see with all those pot-bellied men and world-class big boys, going for shopping across the globe. When they must have sold cheaply without scarcity, they suddenly become all that expensive and cultured born again sisters. You meet many of them in churches, they become relationship advisers and counselors. They have quotes on how you should value men and all that. I mean they use to be so cheap, now they make themselves expensive and scarce, that only few men can afford. Once you end up with some of these women, your are On Your Own. You don buy correct black market.
Cyber Monday Wives
I’m sure Cyber Monday is not all that strange to us. These kind of babes are so filthy rich, they can buy you. Their families are world-class millionaires, they have a kind of family business they run. These ladies are also world-class ladies, independent, wealthy, loving, kind and most importantly generous. They spend quite a fortune on their spouses, give them a good percentage of their inheritance, some even go as far as putting their spouse in charge of all their properties or just giving them all. You meet these kind of ladies mostly on Monday mornings by the roadside, confused and devastated about their flat tyre and of course running late for an appointment.
Now, let’s take a look at our local stores, we have little promotions on our goods as well
How much you wan pay?
You can easily find these kind of promo among our Igbo brethren in the Nigerian Wife Market (I hear it is mostly among the Imo state ladies). Due to the high bride price our Igbo people take from our men, the ladies have decided to find a means to cut the price down. Here is what they do, they do a court marriage with their spouse, give birth to all their kids. After few years, they take their husbands to their kinsmen for traditional marriage and guess what? The husband determines the bride price.
Cash and Carry
These ladies have so much fear and/or desperation when it comes to getting married. They don’t want to be in their father’s house for too long, they are always checking bellanaija almost every hour of the day and ready to jump at any man who comes their way. It doesn’t matter if he is good-looking or has some values or not, as long as he can take care of them and/or give them the ‘Mrs’ title, no time to waste.
Buy one get one free
In this case, it is not only the lady who is getting married here o, almost the whole family is…lol. These kind of ladies are mostly single mothers (being a single mother is no sin), which means you get to marry them and their kids. You are not only becoming a husband but also a father at the same time.
So guys, you have a variety of options to choose from the Nigerian Wife Market…oya pick your choose. lol.
Till next week, I remain SILICON.
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