This week, we are treating a mail we received from a friend. He needs a friendly advice from us on how to handle a sensitive issue and he is counting on us to help him out. Asides the featured response we will be offering, we enjoin you – our readers – to contribute your quota and restore a smile to his face and love back between this couple.
Let’s save the day after reading his story below:
I’ll make it short and simple.
I am fed up with being summoned to answer cases by my girlfriend‘s parents. My girlfriend reports every detail of our relationship to her parents. She reports me to her parents every time we have an argument, and her parents always call me to address the issue when they should have just left us to solve it between ourselves like adults that we are.
I’m confused at what to do. I love her but I do not love the act of reporting me to her parents when we can work things out on our own.
I respect her parents so much and would not want to come at loggerheads with them. I have been seeking ways to let them know I do not like the way my girlfriend reports me to them and how they interfere, but I haven’t arrived at any safe way to do it.
Please help me. How can I wisely stop this act?
Be kind to leave comments below. Thank you
Your relationship is quite an interesting one. You are only dating, but seem to have involved your parents in your relationship (which is a good one by many indications). Your story however shows that the involvement is not balanced; while it appears you involved your folks on a peripheral level, she has taken hers to a mega level and even tells them every detail about it. This is where the problem is – that your girlfriend reports you to her parents even makes it worse – when you are yet unmarried.
It’s not bad to let your parents know about your relationship, but details should remain BASIC. You are right to feel queasy about having to answer cases with her parents but you need to take the bull by the horn – talk to her about it. Let her know your aversions towards the act and ask her to change.
She may have grown up learning that she can talk to her parents about anything and everything, hence it will be difficult for her to fight back the desire of giving her mum the latest gist about that fun place you guys visited or the little argument that ensued between you both. You need to understand her from this angle, and patiently make her see reasons why relationship should have some level of privacy.
It will be hard, but I am hoping she will be ready to change; to make you her number one gist partner, her confidant and many of the things she sees her parents to be. Need I say that NOW is the best time to change her. It will be a lot more difficult if your relationship goes to the next level and she is still this way.
Don’t break up just yet, talk to her about it, make her see reasons why she should stop, and help her on the long arduous journey of changing from the status quo she probably has been used to all her life. She will appreciate you for it…for life!
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