It is true what they say about your ‘first love’; you will hardly forget them. The first time you experience love is not something to forget quickly, regardless of how it turned out eventually. My first love experience started brightly but soon dimmed out due to no fault of mine or his; ironically, you can blame love for our eventual separation.
Here’s the story of my first love experience and…my break up story.
I was preparing to write my JAMB Examinations (now called UTME) and I needed to attend tutorials, hence I was released from my mother’s grasp and into a new world. Prior to that moment, I had never left my mum’s presence for more than 30 minutes, except when I went to school. She always told us that education comes first and we had to pay serious attention to studies.
It took the intervention of my class teacher and some other people she respected to allow me attend external tutorials. She feared I would be corrupted, and rightly so. It didn’t take more than a month before a seed of new ideas started flowing in my head.
Other than what I read in novels and saw in movies, I had never had a personal feeling for any guy, not even a crush. I was a geek in school, my classmates never bothered me like the other girls. Attending tutorials with people different from the classmates I grew up with opened my eyes to new realization of who I am and what I could be. So I started paying more attention to what I wore, the way I looked, talked, walked and even sat. I just wanted to be noticed, to be sought, and to feel among my peers. Before long, I got what I wanted.
My favourite subject was English. I always paid special attention when it’s time for the subject. My teacher in school once confessed to me that I made teaching fun for her with the way I showed enthusiasm in class. Things were not different when I got to the tutorial centre too. I had a good tutor; he was young, friendly and cute. Did I say cute? Yes, that was the first time I noticed anyone as cute. His name – Paschal – was one name I really liked too. It was the name of the lead character in one of my favourite movies as at that time.
Apart from just being cute, I liked Paschal for his fashion sense. He always mesmerised us with his choice for colours, his abilities with matching his wears, and the sweet fragrance of his cologne. I was ‘stucked’ on him (lol) when he eventually got talking to me. He spoke with a lot of confidence and verve like the guys on radio and had a great dentition for a guy. To cut the long story short, I had completely fallen for this guy.
He soon realized my special interest in English Language and we got close. I learnt he was an undergraduate at UNILAG. He was tutoring to make extra cash for himself, which I really liked, and commended him for. Also the first child of his family, he had two other siblings. His parents lived in Port-Harcourt while he stayed with his uncle in Lagos; not far from Akoka. Hence, he didn’t have to stay in the school hostel and also had time for other jobs like the tutorials. I soon knew so much about him it felt like I had known him all my life. He taught me English language at a higher level and always made sure I was doing well in the other subjects. He was my major motivation for attending tutorials everyday.
I was going through his phone one day when I noticed the numerous pictures of one particular beautiful lady. I asked if she was his sister, but
We didn’t talk about his girlfriend for a long time. I wrote my JAMB and passed in flying colours. My mother was really proud and happy. She told me
I visited Paschal in UNILAG to announce my result to him. He was also happy and offered to take me out to celebrate my success. So we visited one of the exotic eateries within campus. As we sat to eat, he looked me in the eye and said ‘Motunrayo, I love you’. My heart melted. It felt like a marriage proposal and I was going to say YES when I realized it was not the proper response. He didn’t ask me out, he only professed his love for me, so I replied by saying ‘Thank you’ amidst a wide grin.
I ate with gusto and couldn’t resist stealing glances at him. I was happy to finally have my first love; a man that loves me and would start a relationship with me. I had all the ideas of love in novels and movies in my head, so my expectations were on a pedestal.
That was how our relationship started unofficially. He didn’t have to formally ask me out, we just knew we were dating and it was a great eight months of my life. I passed the second entrance examination in the University and was offered admission in UNILAG to study Law.
Our relationship grew in leaps and bounds until a few months after my resumption. Paschal was in his final year. I noticed he stopped making out time for me unlike before. I initially attributed it to the stress of being in final year, but I later found out that he had been visiting his ex.
I asked Paschal about it and he told me how his ex got jilted and heartbroken by the other guy she left him for. She had called him afterwards, and as a ‘nice guy’ that he was; he was helping her heal. I felt really jealous, but I didn’t want to be seen as possessive, so I encouraged him to help get back on her feet.
I was shocked on a particular evening when Paschal confessed to me that he had had sex with her and was feeling guilty. I was heartbroken and didn’t know what to do, say or think. I had read in many books that such situations could end a relationship, but I wanted to be different. Being my first love, I wanted to forgive him and make him promise me that it wouldn’t happen again with his ex or any other lady.
He showed genuine remorse for his actions, but it was not because he had slept with his ex. It was because he had wasted my time. He further confessed to me that he was still in love with her, and would not want to be selfish by keeping me. He started encouraging me to move on and wished me well in my subsequent relationships. It was a rude shock that almost destabilized my first semester in school, but with the help of my roommates and a few good friends I had, I was able to shake it off. Although not completely, but enough to help me focus on what mattered.
I still love him (he’s my first love of course), but I guess his ex loved him more. Well, she is no longer his ex; they got married last year. I have also since moved on with another guy who’s just as loving and caring…if not more.
Thank you GLOWVILLE for giving me the opportunity to completely heal by sharing this experience.
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