Can I trust and marry a man that has cheated before?

The feeling I get when I see couples together, holding hands, kissing and sharing happy moment; it’s a second-to-none feeling I daily wish to experience.

To imagine myself in all those romantic, adventurous positions, been happy next to the one I love. Talk about the future, about kids, anything that will keep the happiness flowing, but NO! I am in a relationship where all my feelings are kept to myself.

I want to be anonymous and tell you my story or just tell you something that might help anyone out there.

I’m dating one of those men whose work takes them for months and they can be home for months too (depends on the what they are doing per time). Love consumed me in the first year of our relationship. He was sweet, sent me text messages when he was at work, called me to let me know when I won’t be able to reach him on phone, and when he gets home he comes rushing to be with me. The relationship was everything to me. Then the rough roads started, you all know how it goes; cheating, yelling at me when I talk about his cheating habit, staying away for a long time, it became a nightmare and I thought things would improve. Little did I know he was dating 3 other girls to know who was good for him.

I couldn’t explain why he felt the need to compare me with other ladies, so I decided to quit because I felt I might not be the chosen one.

Barely a week after I had begun to enjoy my single status, I got a call from a woman. She asked about my family, work and life and later introduced herself as my EX’S mother. Wow! I was shocked and confused.

She kept calling for a week before my ex called to apologise, saying things have changed. I then asked myself, “am I the chosen one?”

As Nigerian lady with the belief that a man will always cheat and they have to be forgiven, I did consider that since his mother is now involved, things may have changed.

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Mehn was I wrong he still kept cheating even after both parents have met.

Lately, his bad habits have subsided but the love for him is lost because I know i have put in too much than I should have into the relationship now things feels artificial. Its at a stage where we are just planning to get married, not about love or happiness.

I wish I could walk away but do not want to disappoint my parents and even if I explain to them, it will be another story of ” Life is just about managing” or “A man is always going to be a man”

What can I do to avoid this sham of a relationship? Should I go ahead and marry this man who has cheated severally?



I don’t have much to say about this. If you have truly lost love for him, don’t try to patch it. Say it as it is and take the walk; not for today, but for the future of both of you and the children you both are likely to have for each other. Don’t let people who won’t leave with you in your home preach any message of patience to you when you know it leads nowhere. Do the needful and you will eventually be thankful for it.


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  1. Okay, at first I thought this person was married already, however I don’t see any reason why you should married this guy unless you are desperate for marriage or love. It doesn’t make any sense at all. And if you have given him all that is to love; sex and all that and the guy still cheating. Then you have nothing else to offer. So just cut him lose and move on.
    Yeap that is my thought though

    • My dear sweetheart, to be candid, we all know men are polygamous in nature but that doesn’t mean we can manage so much from them. it’s good you ain’t married yet, if he doesn’t change now. he van never change…..remember it’s never too late to walk away….the future is so big n large to strode in unhappiness….#lethimgo

  2. I think if he can be brutal to do what he did, he might not be worth trusting unless he has truly repentented of which the lady can’t be sure. Let the lady just follow her heart.

  3. From the look of things, he has not repented so this is not the case of marrying someone who used to be a cheat. He is a cheat and the truth is that he doesn’t love you. He just wants a woman in his home while he continues his habits.
    There are lots of things to cope with in relationships but we do so because of love. In this case, there is no love from both of you and trust me, you don’t want to be live the rest of your life with a man who doesn’t love you, it will be a terrible ride.
    Please leave the demon immediately and trust God for a man after His heart, wonderfully made, just for you. Try to explain to your family if they’re ready to listen and move on with your life. I know people (including me) who have left relationships like this and are doing great. It’s better to remain single than to be married to a beast cos if you don’t kill him, he will kill you.

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