Before reading today’s story, I would love you to answer this question; at what point do you know you should be more than friends with someone? A lot of people find it difficult to understand the right moment to cross the line, or if it should be crossed at all. Oyinade’s story may provide some answers to this mystery.
When I met Olatunde he didn’t look like he was destined to be more than friends with me. He had just moved to the estate where I lived and it happened that I recently just moved to the estate too; we were also neighbours on the same street. It happened that we were both looking for someone to hang out with, and eventually met at the mini mart within the estate one chilly Saturday morning. We clicked as friends almost immediately.
At first there was some attraction between us but I stamped on it pretty hard because I’d just come out of a 3 year relationship and didn’t feel ready to do anything. Olatunde completely respected my boundaries and never pushed it. We hung out a lot, watched films, went on adventures and generally had a blast. He was the person I called when I needed help or advice, he was the person I thought of when I heard a new song but I still refused to accept that I could be developing romantic feelings for him. When he started dating someone I was insanely jealous but pushed those feelings down too. I wanted him to be happy.
A couple of months after they broke up, we began to spend every day together. We were essentially joined at the hip and being around him just made me so, so happy. He was always speaking in proverbs and nudging me to make friends with other guys. He was concerned about me not dating anyone and always wanted me to meet other guys. I couldn’t tell him I didn’t want other guys, I wanted him.
He still went ahead and tried to hook me up with one of his friends. After much pressure, I decided to give it a try, but the guy was nothing like Olatunde; he was brutish and crude. He seemed to think of me as desperate to be in a relationship, so he took me for granted and wanted me to be a side-kick. To make matters worse, he was fond of flirting with other girls even in my presence (maybe because I refused to give in to his pressure to have sex). After Three months of enduring him, I called it off and went back to square one with Olatunde.
I wanted to visit him and open up my mind to him. I wanted to tell him straight up that I was in love with him and would rather date him, but I was scared of what he would take me for if it appeared to him like I was the one asking him to date me. He didn’t seem to be interested in a relationship with me, but I was satisfied with his friendship than being with another person who didn’t really care about me.
One day, we were having a walk and I saw a cute lady walking alone on the other side. I tried to tease him by asking him to go talk to her (he hadn’t been in a relationship in a while too). He refused, and I asked why.
“I have known you for a while now, I am much more comfortable with you than having to start all over with someone else” he said.
I was speechless. I acted like I didn’t understand, but he was not willing to repeat what he said. So we continued the rest of the walk in total silence.
When we got back to his apartment, he held my hand and made the whole thing look like a marriage proposal.
“You have been my best friend for almost a year now, but I want us to be more than friends…will you be my one and only?” he asked.
You can already guess my answer. lol.
We dated for a few months before he proposed formally and we got married last December.
It took us a while to accept we should be more than friends, but it happened when it was worth it and when God wanted it to happen. I am glad and I hope this inspires someone out there.
Thank you Glowville.