Truth be told, sexual attraction does not last forever between a couple. Study has even shown that women tend to lose sexual attraction, barely a year into the relationship. As a man, I know that we also get to that point where we just stop being sexually attracted to that same person. Some things are responsible for low sexual libido in marriage or otherwise a reduced sexual attraction to one’s wife.
My big brother, Tosin Ayo (T.A), sheds light on 10 reasons a man may not be sexually attracted to his wife anymore, after a while. I’d also be giving suggestions for possible solutions.
Excessive familiarity is the father of contempt. There is something incredibly sexy and attractive about distance, longing, quest, chase, hideousness and scarcity. We are humans, we don’t chase what we already have. When there is nothing to look forward to any longer, the drive dies.
Solution: Don’t stop creating new ways to be sexy and attractive, even when you are married. Switch the style, and don’t make sex and romance a routine; make it fun, make it something to look forward to.
2. Married women’s unattractive posturing at home and serial domestic nudity.
Some wives assume because they are married, they don’t need to look attractive and hot for their hubbies again, they are the architects of their own misfortune. Men are moved by sight. A man will most likely prefer to have sex with a hot side chic than his unkempt, over-familiar wife. It takes more to stay married than to marry. Domestic nakedness kills sexual attraction. Cover up. When a man is used to seeing the wife’s naked body, the thrill might wane. Less is more. Skimpy is sexy, full nakedness is not.
Solution: Don’t be careless with your appearance simply because you are married. Take time to look good, sexy and attractive. Even if your spouse lives with you everyday, maintain some sexual mystery, which is only unleashed when the sexual tension has reached fever pitch high!
3. Pornographic addiction and excessive masturbation
This, when done by the man can reduce his coital interest and weaken penile muscles. Low erection and loss of sexual interest can make a man unwilling to have sex.
Solution: Reduce dependence on artificial sex/masturbation if you want to stat sexually attracted to your spouse for a long time. Better still, STOP!
4. Economic recession.
Erection responds to happiness. An unhappy man is disinterested in sex and life. When a man is very broke, not just poor, his sex life is drastically affected. Blame it on Buhari. lol.
Solution: Double your hustle from now, or make investments early; anything to ensure you are not broke to the point of losing your happiness in marriage.
5. Unrequited sexual gestures.
Some wives are too mechanical and thoroughly unexciting. If your response mechanism during the act wasn’t impressive, the man won’t want to excitedly re-enact it.
Solution: You need to develop a sexual chemistry with your spouse. Figure out that telepathic sexual understanding that makes both of you the perfect pair in bed. Be willing to try new things, and encourage them in bed. Sex is fun, and should remain that way. It takes two to have fun. Don’t make it about yourself or the other person alone; get involved. If you are having issues reciprocating at the level of your spouse, you may need to talk things over or see a therapist.
6. Poor nutrition and Alcoholism.
Not every meal encourages sexual stimulation. Some meals are dick killers. Cut out on juice, sugar, carbohydrates and junks. Stop drinking some reprehensible Alcohol. Some beers ruin erection. Stay natural. Feed your hubbies more of unripe plantain for iron- strength and vitality and Garden egg for sexual stimulation. Eat bitter Kola and walnuts, thank me later.
Solution: Read number 6 again!
7. Some men are just weaklings who have sex out of routine.
Find out before you marry. Marry your size. Don’t be a nympho and marry a sex-bearer. Get a machine.
Solution: Have this conversation before marriage. Don’t get into it and then realize you got into the wrong deal. Make sure you are walking down the aisle with both eyes open and heads clear.
8. Understand that sex drive reduces in man from age 35 whilst it increases in women from age 30.
This disparity can lead to a sexless marriage. Be more interactive. Make the first move. Create an enabling sexual environment for the act. Be daring and adventurous.
Solution: Already stated!
9. The enlarged birth canal can make sex less enjoyable for some men for lack of grip.
Get a therapy and do some squats for contraction. The sex position that contrast the vaginal muscles should be explored for sensual coitus.
Solution: Don’t be too lazy with your body after birth. Don’t stop desiring your woman after birth. Both of you must work hard to keep the sex life going in order to stay sexually attracted.
10. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Let him miss you. Sex is more exciting after a break. It takes a special kind of art not to be bored after a while due to permanence. Let love lead. Recreate your sex life and your man will keep begging for more.
Solution: T.A has said it all!
If you have other ideas and solution for people who are no longer sexually attracted to their spouses, please share with us in the comments.