Ladies and gentlemen, as a man, I should know what women expect from their would-be husbands. I’ve taken up the challenge to write the letter, I just hope my male folks will not ostracize me after reading this. I will assume the position of a female here so that I can drive home my points very well. Follow me. Oya, lets go as I write a letter to my future husband.
People call me beauty, some refer to me as a queen, while others said I am charming, and I myself from mirror confirmation, I know that I am good looking. Not only that, I have been attending friends’ weddings and I have “bested” numerous friends. So people have been asking me when the lucky man is coming; My mother has been telling me why “Emeka” will be a good husband based on his father’s image. My father has been giving me reasons why “Femi” will make a perfect husband because he’s a close friend of the family. My sisters and brothers have been encouraging me to get hooked to the guy next door guy because he seems responsible from afar. My friends have been telling me to settle for an available guy since the desirable guy is not forthcoming. My colleague has been telling me that since Mr. Right is not forthcoming, I should pick Mr. Left and drag him to the right. Even my pastor, from “spiritual point of view” has been suggesting some good brothers to me in the church. And I myself have been praying and fasting to locate the right man. And as a child of God, I have a choice and expectations from my man. So ladies and gentlemen, follow me as I write a letter to my future husband, explaining my expectations of him. I know he’s somewhere smiling, singing, thinking, working, praying, or may be fasting, and who knows, he may be reading this too. Oya, follow me…
Dear Future Husband,
Compliments of the season to you wherever you are. I hope the weather is conducive, and I also hope you are preparing for the future by being dedicated to your work/studies? Are you surprised that I’m writing you this letter even though you have not seen me before? Ok. May be we’ve met, but I have not really given you the green light (Don’t be angry, you know as a woman, I need to do shakara small na). Perhaps we’ve met but have not actually known ourselves that much. Whatever the case my future husband, I’m still happy that you devote your precious time to read my letter. Thank you honey.
My reasons for writing you this letter is for you to convince me by your attitudes, characters and approaches to issues that you are the right man for me. I don’t want you to just be the father of my children, I want you to be their positive role model, I want you to be my brother, my husband, my counselor, my confidant and my friend. I also promise you that I won’t let you down in any way, I promise you that as God lives, your people will be my people, your problems will be my problems and your joy will be my joy. I want our marriage to be a positive case study in our neighborhood, in our religious affiliation and in our country. Please honey, don’t hide your real self for me, show me who you really are now before I commit the remaining years of my life to you. You and I know that nothing kills faster than an unhappy marriage.
My future husband, your past anomalies does not really mean much to me provided you’ve outgrown those dark periods. Fathering a child in your teen age does count that much, it only shows that you are a complete man. Being “oyibo” or ‘blacky’ does not mean anything to me, all that matters is your being, I mean whom you are. Having six-packs is not why I want to marry you, your “number 6” (common sense) is more preferable. You can come from anywhere in the world, where you hail from is not my priority, what matters to me is your maturity in all areas. If a man is mature in mind, he is completely mature! As a woman, I have been babysitting for aunties’ and neighbors’ since I was 10 years. So I can’t babysit my children and still be babysitting my husband. Your maturity in mind and positive self-training is not negotiable honey. Did you think I’m being authoritative? Pardon me honey, I just want the best for both of us. Are you smiling now? That’s my boo!!!
My future “daddy”, if you drink, please don’t drink the future along. It seems you don’t understand my point here, let me give you an example; I heard that the cheapest bottle of beer sells for N200. If you ‘consume’ (plus the ones you buy for friends) an average of 5 bottles a day, that makes it 35 bottles in a week, in a year, it’s 1,820 bottles, amounting to N364,000. Just imagine you have been drinking for 10 years, that will amount to N3.6 million! That means you have drank a duplex!!! And despite all these your “patriotic contributions” to these beer manufacturers, there is no direct appreciation from them for your “outstanding” patronage. The only thing they can give you is T-Shirt and Face Caps as a “lucky” winner. So please honey, I’m on my knees, if you can’t stop drinking, reduce it drastically and save more. It’s in your best interest, besides, it’s our happiness as a family. Thank you dear.
My future “baby”, if you smoke, please stop it! You and I know the negative effects of smoking, though the “enjoyment” is for one person, the problems are for both of us and our families and friends. I don’t want to be a “premature” widow. Please honey, you didn’t start smoking from your mother’s womb, meaning that you were happy before you started smoking. So even if you leave it now, your happiness will not diminish, that means smoking is not a determinant to your happiness. I’m not saying you should not enjoy the good things of life ooo, but try to differentiate the “good” things of life from the “best” things of life. Less I forget my dear, your neatness is of paramount importance to me. You know what I mean, I don’t need to go into details. Thank you honey.
My future husband, having friends is not a bad idea, at least you have your close friends before knowing me, and they even approved our union. But you need to know now that after marriage, your schedules with your friends should be altered to accommodate your new family. If you are used to coming home late every time, please you need to readjust it now, it won’t be a good idea if I develop high blood pressure at this stage. Have quality discussions with your friends, but spend quality times with your family. Thank you dear for your understanding.
My future hubby, I know you have been using your weapon of mass destruction on every Amaka, Iyabo and Hadijat, but please don’t exhaust your strength on them before marrying me. Forget religion, I will need it as long as I’m strong. Its not negotiable at all. Thank you honey.
My future husband, marrying 20 wives and having 30 concubines does not add to your value, the suffering awaits you in your old age (that is if you get there). Come to think of it, what those women have in terms of features is what I have. Though you may tell me your culture permits it, your religion accepts it and your tradition approves it. But does your perception and conscience align with it? You have a heart of your own, don’t you? Are you a pet? No! Will you be imprisoned if you marry one wife? Will you be ostracized if you don’t practice polygamy? Will you be condemned if you are a one-wife man? Won’t you make heaven if you marry one wife? So tell me what’s so important in packing women? As a husband, if you think there are areas I’m lacking as a being, tell me and I will adjust. Marrying numerous wives and having uncountable concubines will only lead to disharmony and resentment in the family, and might even send you to your early grave.
My future husband, I will really appreciate it if you are hardworking. I mean I hate men that tie wrapper in the morning and stay at Newspaper stands from morning till 2pm discussing clubs and politics. You should be more than that considering the responsibilities on you. It won’t be funny if I’m feeding you and the children and you are still accusing me of not having respect. Sincerely speaking, you’ve sold your respect to me by relinquishing your responsibilities to me. I am marrying you to support you, not to bear the brunt alone. I hate it when you complain about women being a gold-digger when you yourself cannot even dig a bronze. In summary my future honey, be hardworking in whatever field you are. It’s in our best interest honey. Thank you.
In conclusion my future baby, I want our families to appreciate our union, I want our church to value our marriage, I want our neighbors to cherish our togetherness, I want our community to respect our emotional style, and finally, I want our country to celebrate our love. It is possible. We can reach our goals. We can achieve it my husband. I can imagine you smiling as you are reading this, thanks honey.
Regards to your parents and siblings. Tell them their future wife and daughter in-law is coming soon. Don’t forget, men are many and are everywhere, but kings are scarce. Please always let the king in you to come alive, and I will hold you in high esteem till death!!! We will discuss the remaining ones when we meet. Thank you baby.
Please don’t think my expectations are too much ooooooooo, these are the things your own mother will still tell you too. And don’t forget, I promise to be a mother to you also, so it’s my responsibility to talk to you about these. Honey thank you.
Bye for now
Your future wife
Written by Williams Johnson Fortune