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Jealousy is one of those emotions that eats you from the inside if not handled in the right manner. The truth is that this feeling dwells in virtually everyone, we only exert different levels of control over it. This article is therefore to help if you have challenges with control; to teach you how to deal with jealousy in your relationship.
Well, the first thing to understand is that jealousy is an instinct that we humans have to protect us from losing the person we love. So, it is totally natural to feel jealous and it’s totally natural to express your jealousy too. You can’t totally take away jealousy from your relationship. A good dose of it is needed to keep your feelings in check, and like every drug, an overdose can kill your relationship.
Now, the question is how to express jealousy in the right manner? And the simple answer to this question is that we want to be reasonable about it. We want avoid the two extremes: ignorance and neediness.
We want to let our partner know when we feel jealous and clarify it together, so that it does not “boil” inside your mind. Therefore do that, instead of trying to repress the feeling, or become over controlling and aggressive as a result.
Now, one more thing to keep in mind is that in a healthy relationship, your partner should avoid as much as possible, the situations that could make you jealous. Therefore you need to let your partner know that jealousy is not your favourite emotion, and it’s better for the relationship if he/she avoids potential jealousy situations.
But take note; jealousy can also be a symptom of you being too insecure about yourself. In this case you need to deal first with your insecurities and then the jealousy will be diminishing as a result.
Listen to your partner, really!
Your partner may be trying to say something to you, so pay attention. Most of the times, when jealousy sets in, all your lover wants you to do is pay attention to them, and show them you still care. If you want to work this out, then both of you should be ready to listen to each other and hear what each of you have to say.
Try to read your partner’s mind and their actions and give them enough attention if they’re feeling alone while you’re holding someone else’s hand.
Communicate and understand
If you’re annoyed with your partner about something, then just tell them about it. You may sulk and make the day worse for the both of you. Instead of plotting in your mind, just say what’s on your mind and you can work things out faster and have more time to spend in happiness, than in misery. And if your partner wants to tell you something, don’t walk away even if you feel like it makes no sense. Remember, what seems like nonsense to you could mean a lot to your partner when they are hurt and want your reassurance.
Read The Signs
Most of the times, even if your partner is hurt or feeling low, they may not tell you anything about it. So look out for signs that suggest they’re upset about something. Give your sweetheart a hug, rub their shoulders or run your hands through their hair and talk to them. Coax your partner into saying what’s on their mind and let them know that they mean a lot to you. Sometimes, it’s easy to misunderstand, but it’s always easier to make a partner feel better if you try.
Put yourself in their shoes
One of the best ways to deal with jealousy in a relationship is to learn to put yourself in your lover’s shoes. What would you have done if you were in your lover’s place? Would you have behaved the same way? Try to always put yourself in their shoes and try and understand what your partner is going through.
Perhaps, your partner is just being nice or trying to make a good impression. Does everything in the world have to revolve around your partner wanting to break up with you? Come on!
One of the best ways to deal with jealousy is to reassure your partner. If you get angry with your partner for getting jealous, things will only get worse. Tell your mate that you’re sorry to have neglected them, if you did neglect them. Or just reassure your mate and let them know how much you love them and care about them. When someone gets jealous, remember, more than anything else, they’re afraid of losing you and they want your attention, badly!
Jealousy can be cute if it’s experienced in moderation, but anything beyond that can change your happy relationship into a frustrated one. Learn to relax and have a good time when you’re in love, instead of suspecting your lover all the time.
Jealousy in a relationship is just a subconscious way to get attention, so learn to face situations and communicate with your partner when you feel low. And always understand the importance of listening when your partner is depressed or angry for no apparent reason. At times like that, there’s almost always a big reason.
At times, jealousy in a relationship may seem trivial, but if not confronted and overcome, jealousy can
burn your relationship apart. Understanding and reassurance is what it takes to hold your love together and overpower the green eyed monster that’s lurking in the corners, waiting to hurt you and make you hate your lover. So overcome jealousy in a relationship and reassure, communicate and fall in love with your sweetheart, more with every day!
Always remember that jealousy in a relationship is the fear of losing a lover and not a sign of aggression or possessiveness. Learn to deal with jealousy in your relationship with these simple tips and you’ll have a healthier and happier relationship.