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IS IT RIGHT TO BE JEALOUS ABOUT HIM WHEN HE HAS NOT ASKED ME FOR A RELATIONSHIP?
I’ve become very close to one of my course mates. We started hanging out alone, he would always call me to do something or just chat, and we would text all day, from the moment we woke up until we fell asleep at night. He always sits next to me in class — he makes up an excuse, shifts seats, or switches with other people just to be closer to me. I don’t always respond nicely to that and I act like it’s unnecessary, even though I don’t know why. He takes candid pics of me, and I’ve randomly caught him staring at me. He teases me all the time. More recently, he started “joking” (I’m not sure if it’s joking or hinting) about adapting our personalities to match better so that our relationship can work out.
We have had all these, but he’s not asked me out.
We are currently on holidays, but the problem is that I think he’s back with his ex whom he never loved. He told me that he used to date her because he thought she was “convenient.” and that he broke up with her because she was very clingy, and that’s when we became really close and the flirtation increased. If she called when I was around, he would ignore it and say it didn’t matter.
Now that I am away, we’ve started talking less than before each day, but we’ve still made sure to update each other and talk daily. When we didn’t talk for a couple of days, he called me and gave me a lecture about reaching out, saying we’re not just friends like we everyone else. Two days later, I find out that his ex started hanging out with him. That’s when we suddenly stopped talking. Then he texted me that “we need to talk,” but we never did. I don’t know if they’re back together or if he’s just having a fling. It’s all so confusing to me. Does he like me but he’s confused? Or could it be that I’m just a really close best friend? What’s really going on? Is it right to be jealous?
It sounds like he has feelings for you but that he hasn’t known what to do about them. Also sounds to me like he is still attracted to his ex, and that he was happy to have some companionship while you were away for the summer. That to me, looks like he is unstable with his emotions, and that can be dangerous for you. He might just be using you while she is away and using her while you are away.
That’s just a guess, though. Only one person knows what’s going on in his brain. Himself!
My advice: When you get back from your holidays, tell him that you need to have an honest conversation about your friendship. Ask him whether he has a girlfriend and how he feels about you. Give him some honesty in return. Tell him that if he’s single, you’d like to give this romantic relationship a try. If he’s not single, explain that you need to set some boundaries so you don’t get confused. You shouldn’t have to spend any more time wondering where you stand.
Readers? Over to you. Should she want to be with someone who got back with a “convenient” ex?
Read Also: To The Jealous Lovers
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