Being a good wife is not just about your love for your husband, it takes a lot of working and tweaking to keep your man happy and your home together. The role of a wife (like that of her husband) is a dynamic one that is ever evolving like the job of a coach to his team. You need to stay on top of the situation, and be ready to tweak tactics as often as it becomes necessary. Remember, you are an able support to your husband. Being a good wife is about the possession of certain qualities and traits that will not only make you strong but also flexible to handle diverse issues as they arise. Here are ten of the most important qualities of a good wife.
Find below, the 10 most important qualities of a good wife every woman must possess to have a happy home.
A good wife is a BUILDER.
A woman is expected to possess the ability to put the direction and guidance she gets from God and her husband (who is the head of the home) in building the home to be a peaceful loving place every member of the family is glad to come to, and not a war zone that the husband stays away from or kids do not want to return to after school.
There’s no quicker way to build resentment in your husband than to criticize him – especially in front of others. On the flip side – try genuinely complementing your husband in front of other people. Your husband will glow with admiration toward you and you’ll feel his appreciation as love.The woman is also expected to join her husband (although the role is prominently played by her) in building the children properly with good morals. By so doing, they are building the community to be one peaceful happy place. It’s such an amazing role to play as a woman.
A good wife is full of WISDOM.
It is principal for the husband as the head, and wife to apply wisdom in running the home. But more importantly, a good wife needs a lot of it to be put to use in managing many affairs of the family. Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when not to, it is knowing how to show respect to your husband and demanding it from him. It is also in knowing how to cover your husband’s lapses without it coming to the knowledge of the children. Thirdly, wisdom is in the way you support your husband – Are you supportive? What does it mean to be supportive? Do you belittle your man or do you help him to feel good about himself, his job, activities? Your husband will be much more respectful of you if you support him.
Even when you don’t agree with him – respectfully let him know you don’t agree – then support him anyway. Otherwise, if he has difficulties – he’ll feel as though you’re adding to his troubles. Wisdom is in the way you relate with extended members of the family as well as neighbours and other associates. Every woman must recognize wisdom as one of the most important qualities of a good wife and try to get it.
One of the other important qualities of a good wife which is classified under wisdom is in the ability of a woman to be able to teach you things. Truth be told, the union would be boring if a couple can’t learn from each other. Learning from each other doesn’t always have to be about the big things. It could be something as little as knowing how to cut onions or sewing a dress. A woman full of wisdom and knowledge is an asset to her husband.
A good wife is HARDWORKING.
The role of a wife in a family is not an easy one; definitely a role for the indolent and slothful. Every wife needs to be up and doing, and be ready to lead the children (especially daughters) by example. Remember, they (the children) are looking at you, and you already have a lot of influence over them as their parent. Most of the time, how you lead is how they follow. It therefore becomes imperative that a good wife must be hardworking in many areas of her life, business, career, home management and the likes. A lazy wife who can’t cook, wash or do regular house chores will breed same as kids. Sometimes too, a lazy woman who can’t hold down a job, or be successful in a business will likely pass on the trait to her children. If you regard this as one of the important qualities of a good wife, make sure you imbibe it.
A good wife is PRUDENT.
This is very essential among the most important qualities of a good wife. The prudent management of resources in the home is one way to help save for the rainy days. An extravagant and ostentatious wife is a ticking time bomb for any man. A woman must have a saving culture if she will really fulfill her role as a ‘support’ for her husband. She must be able to see beyond the present and store up grains in the barn on behalf of her family.
A good wife honours her God, her husband and herself in her MODEST DRESSING.
It is very important to look good! A good woman knows how to look good and dress good. By contrast, an ungodly woman’s clothing points to herself and her body instead of God and His holiness. Remember the words of Paul in the New Testament? God emphasizes a beauty of the unseen character. The flesh flaunts the body, God beautifies the spirit. Revealing of sensitive parts of the body is a dishonour to God, your husband and your self. A good woman knows better than to do that. It is common these days to see married women dress like harlots and even allow their children dress the same way from a very young age. Modesty in dressing is one important quality a woman must possess to become a good wife.
A good woman RESPECTS her husband.
A good wife will try to treat her man with respect. How? Much of learning how to be respectful toward your husband has to do with the way you talk to him. The old phrase “It’s not so much what you say but how you say it” should become a wife’s motto. This doesn’t mean you need to be careful what you say to your husband – just be respectful in the way you say it. Respect stands tall among the most important qualities of a good wife. When you have it, you have the heart of your husband.
A good wife shares her husband’s interests
Sharing interests is a great way to spend time with your husband. Pick a few of his interests, which could be of interest to you as well. This way, you both can spend time enjoying an activity together. He is sure to appreciate what you are doing and will love the fact that you are enjoying something that he likes. If he likes to play a round of basketball on weekends, join him. It will give you time together and is also a great way to keep fit and healthy together!
A good wife UNDERSTANDS THE ROLE OF SEX in her marriage, and RESPECTS MATRIMONY.
This is of inexcusable value among the most important qualities of a good wife. Unfortunately, many women underestimate the importance of keeping their husband’s needs met. Often this comes from the basic differences in women and men. For men, sexual desire is much like physical hunger and if it’s not fed properly – the relationship will struggle. Women must look to understand the needs of the man from his perspective not hers. Although it is necessary for the husband to respect his wife too in matters regarding sex, but a woman needs to pay cognizance to the importance of healthy sex in her marriage. Furthermore, it is expedient for a woman not to defile her matrimony by cheating. The Yorubas say ‘A cheating wife will soon kill her husband’. A word is enough for the wise.
A good wife exudes PLEASANTNESS.
This is like a perfume, an aura that you must create around yourself to make you the focal point in the family where everyone comes to peace. A good woman must know what it means to be pleasant. Work to be pleasant toward your husband. Don’t be one of those people who makes everyone around you feel bad just because you’ve had a hard day.
Good things will come from being pleasant. It’s a decision, not easy – you just have to decide to be pleasant. But if you can’t be pleasant – make a decision not to bring him down with you. Same applies with the way you relate with your children. You are allowed to discipline them when they go wrong, but you must also be pleasant to them to make them accept that discipline. Do not be the one who barks at them always and they shiver when they are in your presence. (This one affects men more, and will be discussed in another topic some other time).
A good wife is always APPRECIATIVE.
A simple “thank you” can make a difference in your marriage. Show your husband that you appreciate everything that he does for you and your family. Tell him that you are grateful for his hard work and dedication. This will make him feel good. You are letting him know that he is doing something that would make both of you proud. Knowing that you appreciate him will make him want to do more and keep you and your family happy.
A good wife is a COMMUNICATOR.
Ironically, attaining good communication between men and women can be quite a strenuous and frustrating feat. However, a good wife will seek to discover what’s on her husband’s mind and find a way to express herself to her husband. Often, men and women will make a joint decision – while the man thinks she’s in agreement with him – but only to discover later that she thought the decision was a bad idea. It is important for a woman to keep open communication lines with her husband and be sincere with him.
A good woman CHOOSES HER BATTLES smartly.
There will always be conflicts at some point in your marriage. In fact, every relationship has its share of differences. A good wife knows which fights to choose. You need to know which fights are necessary and which are not. No one willingly gets into a fight, but some problems and topics are just too petty to waste your energy. A harmless “Hi” that your husband says to an old friend when they bump into each other after a long time or a work thing that he cannot get out of are not something that you should fight about. They are simply not worth it and will not make your marriage any good. So think twice the next time you get angry.
A good wife BALANCES ATTENTION between her husband and her children.
It is often said that when a couple begins to have children, there is an imaginary divide that comes between husband and wife. This should not be so. One of the more important qualities of a good wife is to strike a balance between loving her children and loving her husband. She should not neglect her husband to face her children. She should also not neglect her children to face her husband. When she makes the children see that she loves her husband, they will appreciate her more. When her husband also sees how she balances, he will respect and appreciate her more. It’s not an easy job, but with the support a good and godly husband, and prayers for the right wisdom, it is possible to achieve.
A good woman PRAYS.
This is one of the most important qualities of a good wife. It is often said that the family that prays together, stays together. In most family, the prayer warrior of the home is usually the wife. She is the convener of prayer sessions and more like the spiritual mentor to the children (even come clergy men are mentored by their wives).
The role of prayer is an important role for a good wife. If you have seen the 2015 Blockbuster, WAR ROOM, you will need no extra peps to understand the role prayer plays in the family and why a woman must be ready to always stand in the gap for her husband and children.
I also recommend the book, The Power of a Praying Wife By Stormie Omartian for every woman reading this article. The book joyfully inspires you to develop a deeper relationship with your husband by utilizing the amazing power of prayer. This book is packed with practical advice on praying for specific areas of your husband’s life, including his decision-making, fears, spiritual strength, role as father, leader, faith and future. Simply put, if you desire a closer relationship with your spouse, you will appreciate the life illustrations, encouraging Bible verses, and the assurances of God’s promises and power for your marriage.
There you have it, my special top 10 most important qualities of a good wife which every woman must possess to be successful in marriage. Do you agree or disagree? Have criticisms or additions? Whatever your thoughts are, be kind to let me know in the comments section.