A friend of the blog from Abuja needs our help to help him solve a dicey situation. I am trusting you guys to be able to give him a sincere advise without being judgmental. The mission is to lighten the burden on his heart and help him make a good decision. Let’s keep it real.
Here is Quadri’s story below:
I Don’t Love Her, But She Is Carrying My Baby
I have a female colleague who has, over the past three years, told me she loves me and would like to marry me. The problem is that I don’t love her and I have told her that.
I used to be in a relationship with another girl, but we recently broke up. In December, I was at a low point and my colleague visited me and we had sex, and now she is pregnant.
The dilemma I have now is that she insists that I marry her because the child will need a father and a mother.
However I cannot marry her because I don’t love her; at the same time I do not want to lose my child.
I also feel betrayed because I think she took advantage of my stresses and now she has leverage. I am not sure if I can forgive her for that.
Please advise what I should do.
– Quadri. Y
It is a really dicey situation my friend. I may not be able to advise you properly because I have not been in this kind of situation before. However, I will rather tell you what I will do if I find myself in your shoes. I will ask to see the lady’s parent, along with my parents. I will own up to the responsibility of a father to the baby, but I will also make it clear that I am not in love with the lady carrying the baby. She can give birth to the child and let me take responsibility over the baby, but she is free to marry someone else, because I will do same when I find another woman I really love.
It is important to involve the family, so you can immediately get your decision to everyone’s awareness. Talking with her alone may not be enough to keep her away. Whatever the family decides will then lead you to know the next step of action to take. I wish you the best in this situation.