You might find it rather strange to read that I broke up with my girlfriend because of her menstrual cramps. From a distance it might appear to you like I lack empathy, but the reality of the story is far from what you are thinking. I am about to share it with you, just give me the benefit of a doubt. Thank you.
First of, I won’t use her real name. For the sake of this story, I will call her Clara. Secondly, I will not use the real places, just so that some peeps who are familiar with the story will not come for my head. The major aim of sharing this story is to help someone out there learn a thing or two about what it takes to be in a relationship, and if for better for worse is actually something that should be learnt during the relationship or after the wedding. For me, I think I didn’t even care about the concept, I broke up with my girlfriend because of her menstrual cramps – something that is almost a general thing with ladies. Can I say I’m ashamed of myself? lol.
So here is my story.
I met Clara at the school clinic. I was there to receive a test result while she wanted to see the doctor for some other reason. We sat next to each other and got talking about how slowly the medical workers were going about their duty and making us waste precious time at the lobby. She had a class that was fast approaching and in a way to help, I asked her to see the doctor in my turn. She was grateful and hurriedly left. I didn’t get the chance to get her name and number, but providence smiled on me a few days later when I bumped into her. We recognized each other instantly and it was only natural that we exchanged contact details. Luckily, we were in the same faculty; that made it easier to see more often.
We hit off quickly like we had known each other for so long. Clara was fun to be with and so full of life. I had a new lease of life and my schedules were heavily adjusted to spend time with her everyday. Our friends didn’t take time to notice how close we had become and they pretty much called us a couple before we made it official.
My first encounter with a downside of Clara was before we officially started dating. I went to her hostel one particular evening to take her for our usual night walk around school. I had called her to inform her I was coming and she asked me to come, although she didn’t sound too well on phone. It was in my mental note to ask her about it, but on getting to her hostel and knocking on the door to her room, I was told that she wasn’t in the room. I instinctively called her line and I heard her phone ring inside, but she didn’t answer the call. I was disturbed because she had never been that way with me. Feeling I had wronged her, I sent a text to apologize for whatever and left for my room.
The next day, I tried all I could to find her and reach her on phone but she was nowhere to be seen, and still wasn’t answering my calls. I had to talk to one of her closer friends and that was when I realized that she had menstrual cramps and she could be that way when the cramps got too serious. According to her friend, she did that to avoid putting her problems on me and getting me too involved in what was her personal matter. She advised me to give her a few days, as she would come around when the menstrual cramps are gone.
I did, and like I was told, Clara was back to her sweet self. I explained to her that I didn’t mind sharing part of her problems when the cycle comes around and she was like ‘I am not sure you can handle me with my cramps; just let me be’ but I thought it was what I could handle. I waved it off and settled for a relationship with her.
The real drama began after we started dating. Clara was a monster when in her period. She was dangerously touchy and irritated by anything and everything. We had our hottest quarrels and disagreement within those four days of the month. She slapped me once for telling her to stop moaning in pains. She slammed her heavy bag on me on another occasion that she felt I was not quick enough to come to her aid.
At some point, she would be acting like a possessed person, speaking to herself and scratching all over her body like a demon had come over her. Sometimes, she would lock herself in the room all day without coming out for classes or doing anything. She screamed out of sleep on other occasions. I was really worried. I soon realized that she had sought medical help but nothing had worked. She was actually on one of her routine visits to the doctor when I first met her at the school clinic.
I tried, sincerely I tried to keep up for almost two years. It got to a point that I already knew the time of the month and was scared whenever it approached. My prayers were ceaseless but there was no change. The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was one night when the cramp got really crazy and she called me around 8:55pm to come to her room and take her to the clinic. Female hostel were to be locked by 9pm, so I had just 5 minutes to perform magic. I hurriedly left the class where I was reading and ran to her hostel. But I was not superhuman, the hostel was locked before I got there. She didn’t answer her phone when I called, so I sent some ladies to her hostel, but none of them returned to tell me anything. I eventually gave up around 10:45 and left for my hostel. The next day, I saw her in the morning, returning with friends from the clinic. I went to her, trying to hug her and explain what happened the previous night, but she pushed me away and I landed awkwardly; painfully dislocating a finger in the process.
In anger, I broke off the relationship and she didn’t seem to care too. It was really painful that I had wasted two years of my life with Clara, but I found a way to move on.
We later got around to be friends again and we are still keeping it real till date, but we silently both know that we are not meant to be lovers.