I broke up because his ambition was bigger than my love

When I broke up with Ola, a lot of people told me I rushed my decision, and should have waited a little longer before leaving him. But I wore the shoe, and felt the pain more than anyone. His ambition was to achieve great things in life, and I wasn’t even a second option. Although I miss him sometimes, I still manage to convince myself that I deserve better.

If you have ever been with a man of ambition, you might understand me better. Don’t judge me, this is my story.

I graduated before Ola because he was studying Law, which is a five-year course. I served almost immediately, and Ola graduated just a few months before I completed my Youth Service. Inevitably, his next stop was Law School. By then, I had fixed myself up somewhere, working and running a side business.

We had to operate a long-distance relationship after I graduated, and spent most of our time together via phone calls and texting. We seldom saw, and even when we did, it was quite short. Going to Law School in Abuja, only increased the distance and it told on our relationship. Although we didn’t have trust issues, we however lost the fondness for each other.

I breathed relief when he finally finished and returned to Lagos to wait for Youth Service. I tried to make us regain the spark, but Ola had other ideas. He was beginning to pay utmost attention to his ambitions as a Lawyer. He always had one chamber or the other to visit, networking to do, events to attend, and many other things.

I broke up

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We were far apart from each other when he was in Lagos than when he was outside. I sat him down severally to discuss my worries but he kept saying I should give him time. When I took a critical look at his ambitions and his plans to carry them out, there was little or no space for me there.

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I still loved Ola, but I also realized the need to be happy in love. Ola was not giving me the required happiness, and warmth to sustain my love. He didn’t even seem to care about me anymore; his ambition was top priority. His family didn’t help matters too; his mother advised me to also face my career, while waiting for Ola to be ready.

It is not that I couldn’t wait, but I didn’t know how long I would be waiting for Ola. He didn’t know too, so I had to take the bold step of breaking up. I broke up, not because I stopped loving him, but because his ambition was greater than my love in his heart.

Do you think I was wrong?


– This writer pleads anonymity.


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  1. I definitely understand what you have expressed in this article. Although I haven’t experienced this myself, I understand that it is of great importance for the one you love to show some inclusion of you in his future regardless of if he or she is certain of where his or her ambition will eventually lead him. When you start to sense that you are not being included, you either need to take a stand by asking your partner about your role in their future or make the hard decision to walk away like you did while remembering that at the end of the day, it is of utmost priority that you feel included in the relationship at all times.

    • Beautiful submission, Onyinyechi. Clear communication is very important, and for her to stay, she needs to know how the entire plan includes her. She should not be an outsider in her own relationship.

  2. You deserve to be happy and it takes courage to make such decision, as the saying goes “if you love something le it go if It comes back to you then it is yours.

  3. U deserve a better life, u deserve happiness, u deserve a caring man, your decision is perfect….go for what makes you happy…good move.

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