mother can affect your relationship

How your BF/fiance’s relations with his mother can affect your relationship

I feel like it’s a good time to bring up the issue of men and their mommies. What exactly am I referring to? The fact that your man’s relationship with his mother can affect your relationship — in either a good way or a bad way.

 I’m not a psychologist, but I believe the way a man views and treats women in his life begins at birth. A boy growing up watches how his dad treats his mom and then usually emulates the behavior. If a kid’s dad is loving, kind and respectful to his wife, the boy will see this, and hopefully follow suit. If the boy’s dad orders the mom around, abuses her or treats her poorly, the boy could end up thinking this is acceptable, normal behavior. I want to stress that there are countless exceptions of men whose fathers were less than ideal, and who ended up treating their mothers like queens.

So, now the guy starts to date. Ever heard the saying, “How he treats his mom is an indicator of how he will treat his wife?” Again, there are exceptions, but for the most part I believe this statement to be true.

I called my friend the next day and told her about the conversation. Her advice: “Run,” which I did.

There is nothing more repulsive to a woman than a man who doesn’t respect or show love to his mom. There is also nothing more attractive to a woman than watching her guy treat his mom like gold. It makes us respect and adore him immensely. A man giving his mom flowers, taking her to church, or even just putting his arms around her for a big hug is so darn sweet!

All that said, the love and the gestures have to be genuine. In other words, if the man is sweet to his mother out of fear, it is a turn-off. Maybe the mom is demanding or controlling. Maybe she makes him feel guilty. A man who is afraid of his mom and acts out of a sense of obligation will ultimately resent his mom, which is never good for him, or for your relationship with him.

mother and couple

Then there’s the mama’s boy. There’s a fine line between a man who is a good son and a guy who is excessively attached to his mommy.  I have three pieces of advice for women when it comes to your guy and his mom:

1. Let him spend time with her alone. If your spouse has a great relationship with his mom, be happy for them and let them spend time together without you or the kids. He will appreciate you for that.

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2. You don’t have to have the same relationship with her that he does. Maybe your mother-in-law and her son don’t particularly get along, but the two of you naturally click. Or, maybe they are close, and you and your mother-in-law have never seen eye-to-eye. You are entitled to have your own relationship with her, independent of your spouse’s. If it causes an issue, you need to sit him down and talk about it.

3. Keep your mouth shut. If you mother-in-law says something that causes you to want to throw the apple pie sitting on the table in her face, I would suggest refraining not only from starting a food fight, but from bringing it up to your husband. What is he going to do about it? Nothing but become irritated and angry, most likely with you. And, if your husband says something negative about his own mom, say nothing. Remember, he’s allowed to complain about her, you’re not!

Have I suggested something you don’t quite agree with, let me have your opinion in the comment box below. Thanks.

About Admin

Olumide 'Glowville' Lawrence is a Digital & Social Media Strategist, Content/Concept Developer and Blogger with special interest in the fun side of relationships. His blog - glowville.net - is his creative expression of how he views dating and relationships. Follow him on BBM: D610A114 | 08038273738 | lummyglow@gmail.com | Twitter & Instagram: @oluglowville | Facebook: Olumide Glowville

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