Let’s get this fact straight for starters, the Nigerian society doesn’t favour a girl to be so bold as to ask a guy out (toast a guy). Thus, we ladies must take extra precautions before embarking on this near deadly mission.
Below are some rules to follow when you want to toast a Nigerian guy as written by Nkechi Bianze and edited in part by the Glowville Crew.
1. Relationship status
You must make efforts to check that the coast is clear. Make sure sey you nor go toast person husband or boyfriend. Besides the fact that the responsible men in this category will always give a heart-punching no for an answer; girls are not smiling. Acid and hot water baths are real. Some people will go any length to protect their territories.
For me, this is the most important. You see, the worst thing about taking the bold step to toast a Nigerian guy isn’t getting a no for an answer, but the attitude of response and the latter effect. I would consider myself lucky in this case because my brain is in a very good collaborative relationship with heart, when it comes to romantic affairs. My brain assesses the individual first, then it gives a go ahead to the heart to do as it wishes.
These are the questions to ask….
How does he think, or what is his thought process? Does he belong to the 16th, 18th, 19th or 21st century? Does he align with the school of thought that a woman is like an ornament who should wait for the highest bidder? What does he think about a girl asking a guy out? These are some of the things you should find out before making a bold step. For what shall it profit a girl to gather all the liver to toast a guy, only to get ridiculed, considered cheap, loose and all sorts?
3. Go straight to the point.
Whatever option you decide, don’t say long stories, a sentence or two should do. When you toast a Nigerian guy, make it succinct and go straight to the point. After you must have let it out, let him know you expect a response. Like, “what do you think? Can we do this?”. If he thinks you are joking, or not taking your request seriously, sound it again, look him in the eyes and tell him that you are serious about what you said.
Don’t push him for answers, let him go at his pace. Remind him after a couple of days, if he still gives you no answer, then my dear…. silence in this case most likely means no. A guy who is game would usually respond to you in 48hours or less.
4. What if he says yes, did he say yes for real?
This is where your smartness, the ability to detect behavioral code, and the spirit of discernment is needed. From my roughly estimated statistics, 1 in 2 of Nigerian men who say yes to women who ask them out do so for very selfish reasons, or just to ridicule the girl. Most girls should be able to detect this if they pay attention to some tiny and “irrelevant” details.
When you toast a Nigerian guy, you must tell yourself some home truths, listen to your instinct, and don’t let the excitement of getting a yes for an answer cloud your senses. The signs are always there.
If you think the “yes” is for real, by all means flex away. But if you think it’s not for real, withdraw a little, watch from a distance, then take a walk if you still aren’t convinced…. and if you are a good girl.
If you are a baddass girl, take all you can get from the “relationship”, but make sure you don’t invest emotions. The sharp girls will turn it to a case of the player becoming the played. 😉😃😂
Rejection hurts… and when it comes to toasting, it hurts girls more due to societal influence. However, it wouldn’t be wise to stop making requests due to the fear of rejection.
5. Be realistic
Understand that when you toast a Nigerian guy, you may get a no for an answer. And if and when you do, dust off and move on, then wait for the next cute guy to come your way, and start the process all over again. Continue till you catch the big fish or the big fish catches you.
While at these, look after yourself and look good. Make sure you also have a good brain to accompany the good looks. Most big catches fancy pretty girls with working brains. You can thank me later, or don’t even mention at all. What are we friends for?
– Nkechi Bianze.
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