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One of the greatest challenges couples face is knowing how to set proper priorities in marriage, and a large chunk of the blame is upon TIME. Achieving a balance between life outside marriage and within marriage is one of the most important things couples need to learn way before they sign up the marriage contract. Time may not always take the blame, the couple may need to open their eyes to proper understanding of the dynamics of setting right priorities.
All of us have 24 hours in a day. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a man or a woman, whether you’re rich or poor. We all have the same amount of time. Time evaporates quickly, and that’s why we have to make choices, and make them right. So many things compete for your time in a day; work, religion, family, hobbies, and everything else.
As a couple, how do you properly arrange all these things in a day without hurting or hurting your spouse? This is where you need to learn how to set the right priorities.
It’s easy to say what our priorities are, but the most accurate way to determine our priorities isn’t based on our words, but on how we live.
The basics of marriage is that a man leaves his father and mother to cleave to his wife – the embodiment of the family – and they shall be one flesh. This is foundational, and you need to see it to accept it, and live by it.
Leaving your parents to start your family means you need to re-prioritize your life. The moment you are married, your spouse comes first. That is the law of priority!
It’s reflected in natural jealousy. In our culture, we often view jealousy as a negative thing, but there is a legitimate jealousy that God puts inside us related to marriage. The Bible says God is jealous when we allow something in our lives to take His place. In marriage, spouses have the same type of jealousy. Expect your a husband or wife to naturally become jealous when something begins to replace them in their spouse’s life.
Haven’t you wondered why the satisfaction level of marriage often drops when children enter the picture?
A lot of people may not agree totally with this, but more often than not, the reality is that a woman typically turns her attention to the kids while the husband turns his attention to his career. The priority of the marriage is lost. The husband and wife stop focusing attention on each other.
For a successful marriage, a husband and wife must find a way to avoid this trap by maintaining the right priorities.
How to set proper priorities in marriage is not far-fetched.
The only way to do this is by sacrifice. Sometimes we have to give up certain interests—football, shopping, longer days at work—for the good of our marriage. Why? Because time is the essential commodity of relationships. For a healthy marriage, you have to take time away from self-focused pursuits and devote it to your spouse.
Once you’ve established priorities, you must protect them. Work is a good thing. Children are good. Church is good. But the things that destroy marriage aren’t often bad things, but other good things done due to lack of priority. This includes working too much or focusing too much on the kids—to the detriment of your marriage.
How will your kids succeed if your marriage doesn’t show them how?
Marriage only works when it is in first place. That’s a challenge, but the law of priority is one God set at the very beginning. If your spouse has complained about the time you spend at work, or with your friends, or playing golf, or on Facebook, then you may be violating God’s law of priority.
If so, you need to make changes. You need to sacrifice and rearrange your priorities. That’s the only way marriage works.