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Getting to know someone at the beginning of a relationship is usually the best part of any type of relationship. Everything is fun, new, and interesting! Most conversations consist of sharing likes, dislikes, and goals in life. Initially, these conversations stay on the surface, but eventually they become “deeper” because you get to know the other person on a whole different level. This self-disclosure then leads into feeling connected and intimate with the other person. But over time, the communication dissipates and you may begin to feel like you have lost connection with your partner. Is this what you are passing through right now? This article intends to teach you how to know your partner all over again.
It is really easy for sharing to decrease and for communication to become routine when you feel like you know your partner so well already. This usually happens with couples who have many other responsibilities (e.g. kids and/or work) or with lovers who have been together for many years. Thus it is important for partners to continue to share about their life experiences and stay up to date about what their partner’s likes and dislikes are, or maybe how their goals have changed in life. Change is a natural part of life, and if you are on the same page as your partner, then you are likely to report a higher level of relationship satisfaction because you feel closer to your partner. In return, you are able to handle other conflicts or discussions in a more positive manner. This is because the two of you have a better understanding of each other. But the time usually comes when the whole communication just seem like they have disappeared totally, and everything else is affected…you may even begin to feel the need to know your partner all over again because a lot seems to have changed about them. Usually, I prescribe a calm stance, but it must be backed with some level of action. One of such actions is a therapy.
I call it the question asking therapy. It helps you find out new things about your equal half and most likely restores a new spark into your relationship; making you fall in love afresh.,
Here are a few questions that you can ask your partner as a way to update your knowledge about him or her! You may be surprised in how they respond! However, these questions have also been shown to spark other discussions.
- What would constitute a perfect day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
- What do you value most in a friendship?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- What is your most terrible memory?
- If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
- Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
- When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
- If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
- Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
- Which do you find more appealing; wealth or wisdom?
- What’s your philosophy about life
You will be surprised at what these questions can do to your relationship. Try it and let us know what happened afterwards.