How porn has affected my relationships

How porn has affected my relationships – Addict

A 19-year-old lady has been battling a porn addiction since she was just eight and says an early desire for ‘vanilla’ porn that eventually turned hardcore led to a string of abusive and violent relationships.

Rebecca has spoken of her 11-year addiction to pornography which she says she first sought out when she saw a movie where a young girl had been kidnapped.

Rebecca, who only wanted to be referred to by her first name, said she was confused by the ‘deep feeling’ the movie brought, and went searching for that feeling again, the now 19-year-old revealed.

‘I think I definitely lost control of my sexuality watching the really violent porn and things like bestiality.’

Rebecca said her porn addiction escalated by the time she was 16-years-old when relationships turned violent.

How porn has affected my relationships

She began to fit the submissive role she saw women portrayed as in pornography, she said, and began asking partners to choke her which they were ‘always more than willing to do’.

Because of what she’d seen, Rebecca said she thought it was normal for relationships to be abusive, and that she’d been sexually assaulted ‘several times’ by her partners.

‘Looking back now, a 16-year-old shouldn’t have been engaging in really violent sex where there wasn’t a huge amount of respect or love involved,’ Rebecca said.

‘Retrospectively I wish I’d never seen it.’

Still today, the 19-year-old is battling her addiction and visits a psychologist in the hopes of one day enjoying sex without violence.

‘I just would like to have a respectful, equal relationship,’ Rebecca said. ‘And a life where I feel good about myself and my sexuality and I can engage in sex in a really healthy, respectful way.’

Her story screens on Monday at 9.30pm on Australians on Porn, as part of 2SEXY – a week-long discussion about the commodification on porn on ABC2.

Story via Dailymail.co.uk

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