she has been avoiding me

She has been avoiding me since we got engaged

Here is something from one of the friends of GLOWVILLE. He needs your help and we are counting on you to do that in form of your advice after reading his story. Thanks as you do so.

His story starts here:

I met Seun (not real name) when I was in my final year in the University. After several months of friendship, we started dating.

We had things going well between us until I went for my Youth Service. Seun was still in year three at that time. I heard several rumours about Seun’s promiscuity but I didn’t pay any serious attention since they were all uncomfirmed and without proof.

I however realized Seun had twice as more male friends after I left for service than when we weren’t dating. I didn’t say a word because I didn’t want to look jealous and possessive.

I was able to manage the relationship for 2 years before I decided it was time to settle down. I proposed to Seun and she said yes instantly.

Plans started towards our wedding immediately but suddenly, Seun grew cold towards me. She has been avoiding me ever since I proposed to her. I find it very hard to see her, and when I eventually get to see her, she hardly says anything.

I don’t know what has come over her and I am so confused. Should I continue with our wedding plans or give up on her? Is it possible that I am just being paranoid? Is she haunted by a dark secret? There are too many thoughts in my head but I don’t know what to do. I need your counsel please.

– James



The most prominent factor that is missing in your letter is ‘COMMUNICATION’. It is clear that both of you haven’t been communicating effectively; and when I mean effectively, I mean you have not been talking about the things that matter. You heard about her promiscuity, did you talk to her about it? You found out about her numerous male friends, did you try to figure out why it is so? Talking about your concerns with your lover doesn’t mean you are jealous. If you love each other, you’ll talk to each other about anything and everything; no holds barred. It is no surprise that you can’t even get her to talk to you about her sudden change barely after you proposed to her. Your letter is not enough to let us decipher what her problem could be, so you can’t be advised on how to solve her problem. But you can do one thing; call her and have a sincere heart-to-heart conversation you have never had with her. Get her to open up to you, just as you also open up to her. I am sure you will figure out what to do after that conversation with her.


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What do you think guys?

Please, no foul words. Just your candid advice. Thank you.


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  1. I think I agree wit d ‘featured response’ . This is quite delicate if u ask me dou considering d fact dat u two av started marraige plans, however I may want to suggest to hold up a little bit on d wedding plans till u av cleared diz pressing issue. Marriage is said to be a life long venture, u dont want to get in and run out almost immediately

  2. I guess the rumors are true now about seun’s, promiscuity u claim to say u managed the relationship for 2 years so why go ahead with wedding plans ? Hmm. . Marriage is a lifetime commitment u can’t possibly manage that . Don’t be confused ! Time to move on Bro. Goodluck

  3. Bros I beg u don’t inconvenes ur self becaouse u want please some 1 at d end of d day u will d losser plz let her go

  4. It’s simple. Don’t dwell on assumptions, call your woman & talk with her. Let her know your concern/worries, hear from her too. Communication is key. If you still have no peace afterwards, call it off. Most importantly, ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom. God bless you

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