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Recently, a lot of people who have sought relationship advice from me have had one or two issues about maintaining balance between their friends and their lovers. Some have dealt with jealous lovers, while others have had to deal with overbearing friends. In a bid to help a lot of other people out there, I decided to do an article about how maintain balance between your friends and your relationship.
In preparation for this article, I spoke with a few people to get their opinions on keeping things going smooth between your friends and your relationship. I asked how easy it was to keep friends (male and females) while in a relationship with a special ‘someone’. Here’s what a few people had to say:
Tade: I think it’s a really lame move to cut your friends off just because you found the special guy or lady. In my case, Sayo used to be my bestie until she said yes to another guy, and everything changed. She stopped calling as much as she used to, and totally stopped paying me visits, even when she did, she insisted on staying outside and not for long. I mean, I get that I’m a guy but cutting me off? Its just so uncalled for. I was here before the guy came along so, why the worry?
Ukela: For me, it is necessary o. I wouldn’t want to see female friends around my man all the time so I keep my male friends at arms length too. Keeping friends especially of the opposite sex could cause very unnecessary complications. It’s not worth the trouble abeg.
Teddy: Its all about balance and understanding each other. If your man is okay with it, why not?
These are all opinions by people; all of which have an iota of truth in them. But in order not to leave any stone unturned, thereby causing any confusions, I’ll be sharing what I think with you.
First of all, friends are a very important part of our lives, I mean really, what would we do if we didn’t have them. Think of it, who would attend our birthday parties, who would our spouses reach out to when they want to throw us surprise parties, and for ladies, our bridal showers……who would plan our bridal showers, okay guys don’t feel left out, you also need friends for your bachelors eve.
On the other hand, having a relationship is an excellent, beneficial journey. Sometimes, your partner wants exclusivity and that makes it inevitably hard to maintain a balance between keeping your relationship and your friends. You find yourself either losing contact with your friends or concentrating more on your friends than your partner.
How then do you find that balance between your friends and your relationship? I think the following points will help you find a healthy balance between love life and friends’s time because in all sincerity, you need them both. Check out these few tips:
- Communicate with your partner and friends, ask them how they feel. You need to be sure that you are not spending all of your time tending to one party, thereby leaving the other party left out.
- Consider where your priorities lay. Make a list if possible, then plan out your time. It is important to create time for your partner, family, friends and most importantly – yourself.
- Hang-outs are quite important my dear both with friends and with your partner. However, when it is with friends, your partner should be aware. This way, you and your partners schedule will not be upset. Please also make sure your partner is aware of who your friends are so he/she doesn’t worry of who you’re with per time. This could help in erasing any possessive feelings in your partner.
- Always keep in mind and your friends’ too that you are committed not barred in a relationship. Make sure your friends are aware of that and let them know that you love your partner’s company.
- Lastly, never break the girls’ or bros’ code. If you had a bestie before your relationship began, don’t utterly shut them out. Do all you can to be there for them. Especially at times when they NEED a shoulder to cry on.
That’s as much as we can take this week, keep these things in mind and watch your friendship and relationship blossom. And remember, if you ever need to talk to someone, about any issue, especially as relating to this topic, you can reach me on: email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
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