People say Family is everything, and I think they are right. ‘Everything’ is all encompassing of good and bad. Our Breakup story today explores the case of a family member who rated romantic love ahead of family bond. You might learn a thing or two from this.
Victoria shares the story of how it took her a while to get into a relationship, but when she eventually got into one, it was taken away by a family member she thought she knew everything about. Let’s hear directly from her.
When I was in Secondary School, I was a ‘tomboy’ girl and did not fancy relationship at all. It irritated me to be seen hanging around with a guy and engaging in lovey-dovey activities. At the same time, I wondered how my many of my friends coped.
People gossiped a lot about me but I didn’t care, I was enjoying my life as a single, and especially as a boyish girl. When people bold enough walked up to me to ask why I wasn’t interested in relationship, I frankly told them I would not consider one until I have successfully completed my Secondary School education at least.
I finished Secondary school in the year 2010 but I didn’t have my results, so I kept my words till 2012 when I eventually made my SSCE. That was when I met and became close friends with Wole. I had actually known him from my school, but we never really got talking; he graduated 2 years ahead of me.
One thing led to another, and I dated Wole. The relationship lasted for 10 months but I only enjoyed it for a period of 2 months.
I noticed that he was holding back a lot from me. My initial fear was that it was because of my tomboyish attitude, but I had dropped that since I left Secondary School. I later got to understand that he was feeling guilty of something. He kept it from me, and I tried to get him talking to me, all to no avail.
At a time he got over it and started acting normal as before, but that did not last for long. He withdrew again after a while, and started giving excuses – no call, text messages, nagging, countless quarrels that were based on nothing.
As my first love, I found it difficult to let go of him easily, hence I had to apologize every time, even when he was wrong. I cried so hard, had emotional breakdown and started losing weight.
After trying to cope for so long, he acknowledged my effort. That was when he opened up by apologizing and he revealed to me that he had reconciled with his ex, and they were dating again.
What hurt me more was that his ex was someone I knew well, but I never knew her to have had anything to do with him. Wole’s ex was some I regarded as my elder sister (not blood sibling but a relative).
Wole revealed that he still loved her and he had been struggling to tell me about her. It was really painful for me because this sister of mine was someone I considered close and thought I knew everything about. I couldn’t comprehend how both of them hid something of such from me(especially my sister).
I battled with it for some time before I could let go. Eventually, I had to make peace with myself. I called Wole one morning and asked him to go with my sister. I released him wholeheartedly and moved on with my life.
I have been fine since then, and even though the experience gave me trust issues for a while, I was able to give love another chance.
I may have forgiven Wole and my sister, but the experience will remain fresh in my memory.
– Victoria T.
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