comparing other relationships

How to stop the habit of comparing other relationships to yours

It’s normal to measure our own relationships against how we perceive other’s and use those perceptions to reinforce how awesome we are together or question if our relationship has any real lasting power. But whether comparing other relationships to yours leads makes it better or worse doesn’t matter —because it’s a bad idea to compare your relationship with the one you think someone else is in.

If you’re prone to comparing other relationships to yours, here are some tips to break that bad habit.

Tip 1: Looks can be deceiving. This is especially for the ladies: Have you ever become a little green monster when you spot a co-worker carrying your dream Louis Vuitton clutch only to calm down, moments later, when you realize there’s a good chance she bought it on credit? The same applies to relationships—what people show us may be complete contentment (the purse) and what they hide may be their fights behind closed doors (the bill). So remember that the only relationship you have all the details on is your own. Snooping around other relationships, and believing that the grass is greener on the other side may only lead you to depression.

Tip 2: People show their love in different ways. Your BFF’s boyfriend may shower her with flowers and gifts, while the last gift you received from your man is lost in your memory. But before you come to the conclusion that your friend has the better deal, think about how your guy shows his own affection to you. Does he call you every night even though you know he hates talking on the phone? Does he compliment you on the daily? Try to focus on what your man does, not what someone else receives. If you are ever successful in finding out what the other person does to show affection, you are likely to also find out he is lagging in some other areas. No one is ever the complete package.

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Tip 3: Have you ever heard the story about the man who went to see his doctor? It goes a little something like this: The man complains that it hurts every time he pinches his arm, and the doctor replies, “Then stop pinching your arm.” In other words, if it hurts, don’t do it. So the next time you find yourself comparing your relationship with someone else’s love affair, stop to ask yourself, “Does this help me at all? Or does this hurt me?” If your answer is the latter, don’t allow yourself to continue entertaining the comparison. If there are serious issues with your relationship that need to be addressed, do it with your partner in the best way possible; without the motivation you get from comparing other relationships. If you place your relationship on a scale with others, you stand a high chance of breaking your relationship apart.


Do you ever compare your relationship with other relationships? If so, how does it make you feel? Has this article helped you? Let us know what you think.

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