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Disclaimer – This piece is not intended to denigrate women or to cast them in an extortionist light, but to sensitize them, help them out of needless desperation or the appearance of it and prevent them from falling prey to the waiting devouring arms/harms of male predators who are willing and ready to take advantage of a desperate woman in the cyberspace and in the outer space.
What is Desperation?
Generally, desperation is a consequence of lack of affection, the result of anxiety to settle down in a settlement-driven society like ours. In a paternalistic, marriage-focused economic clime like ours, marital bond is seen as a title and a mild social construct of presumed responsibility and personal validation. The ripe for marriage but yet unmarried woman is deemed a failure and an unaccomplished woman If not a social handicap.
One major thing that most women and even men in the world are in need of is Love. But women seem to crave love more than men- This is why men give love to get sex and women offer sex to get love!
It is an ancestral ‘curse’ on women from their fore mother, Eve’s disobedience gaffe in the Garden of Eden when God pronounced that her love will perpetually be with her husband! Thus, a woman is naturally a love-needy creature and would feel naturally incomplete in the absence of love. This also explains why the greatest emotional need of a woman is love known in psychological parlance as attention whilst that of the man is respect!Any man who is capable of dangling the carrot of love and the freebie of attention to a woman can get into her heart which invariably controls her panties. You own a woman’s body when you penetrate her head, melt her soul and touch her heart- this is the desperation conundrum. The soft spot and the G-spot of a woman is not her clit or her tit, but her heart! If a woman feels no thing for you, your touching her privates infuriates her rather than arouses her, except of course she is a hooker who is in it for the money.
You must understand that women are very fragile creatures, they are extremely emotional beings- therefore the need to be desired and wanted exists in many of them to find the love of a good man. Many desperate women at 25 will visit a prayer mountain If no man has never asked them out, men as logical beings would never feel the same at such an age.
Actually, it’s more plausible and common to find Bachelors who have no form of emotional relationship than it is to find spinsters- the few ones are either out of a hurtful one or about to enter a dangerous one, hence, the cliche: ‘No woman is truly single, she is moonlighting somewhere, you either snatch one or remain single’.
Being man-less for a woman can mean the dreaded thought of being alone and lonely. Being the only unmarried one amongst your friends and siblings has lowered your status and esteem already no matter how you want to feign ‘Miss Independent‘.The harrowing threat of having to live life alone will drive some women into having mean men in their lives, who they don’t really want, but put up with as they would rather have that guy, than no guy- half a bread is better than puff puff. This is why a desperate woman will actually ‘settle down’ rather than marry up! They put up with trash, unenviable brutes, lazy drones, male wrecks, empty barrels and masculine sissies who they feed, clothe, house and vavavoom- I call them married ‘lesbians’- they are married to ‘women’. They are entirely responsible for their wedding expenses and marital responsibilities simply because they crave that marital degree-‘MRS’.
Once a woman becomes afraid of being single, desperation creeps in. A desperate woman is usually led by her desperation into doing strange things she would not normally do, which instead of attracting men to her, will draw men away from her and make those men somewhat aloof. Worst case is that some of those men take advantage of desperate women; they loot her finance and fritter her fine ass!
Women are more likely to bend their strict rules when age sets in, and marriage becomes their sole aim of entering into an emotional relationship. They reduce the standards of their kind of man with a progression with their advancement of age and mounting pressure from home and the society to marry. This is when you hear them saying they want any kind of man (short, not too tall, even If he isn’t rich, so far he is a human being, God-fearing, pot-bellied, plumpy and badly dressed), no longer the ‘He must be TDH- Tall, dark and handsome, very rich, 6-figure salary, impeccable abs, 6-pack’ mantra they chanted when they were in their prime.
One prominent way of deciphering if you are a desperate woman is when you notice that men never seem to care about you or you no longer seem capable of maintaining a strong relationship.
Desperation is like a Fragrance- It encapsulates the desperate and shows her forth in the community of people. A desperate woman is too indiscreet and extremely impatient to merely show the green light, she goes all out to make the first move. Men can smell a desperate woman many miles away.Those males who want to take advantage of an easy to manipulate and control female will be attracted to them like a magnet. But they’ve not come to make them honourable in marriage, they’ve come for the body, the honey and the money. They can hunt them out of a crowd like a roaring lion hunting its innocent prey.
It’s worse off if the prey is conniving and assisting in its consumption innocently as a cooperating prey due to the wiles of desperation. When you wear the garb and the appearance of desperation, men can sense on a subconscious level that you are the type of woman who will not put up much of a fight and you are an easy kill. Men form ideas about their target before pulling the trigger of chase.
Insecure women with low self-esteem are the worst hit. They require love and self-validation the most and demonstrate these qualities without even knowing it. Like an invisible aura around you, desperation envelopes you and makes you a magnet of attraction that attracts the type of mate who within himself is also insecure deep down inside or a manipulator or an outspent failure of a man who requires an insecure and an in-confident woman like you to validate his manhood and ascertain the authenticity of himself.
The truth is that some women are so transparent- it is very easy to see through them. Some are overly emotional and clingy- It is very easy to use them.
However, inversely, the same is true for a strong, emotionally stable, happy and an independent woman- she is never desperate. The insecure male who goes after desperate women, will be scared away by such her unusual strength because he knows deep down inside this type of woman will call him out on his shit and won’t put up with it. He won’t even dare. He knows that men can come and go out of her life and she will be just fine. Why? Because her self-worth comes from within and it is not dependent on any man. A real man will also sense this on a subconscious level and be attracted to her. This is the kind of man she needs who is also strong and confident.We often like who we are. A real man who is resilient, self-assured, confident, loving and sincere will be bored with the clingy, desperate women. Its way to easy for him and he will bull doze them over. Real men prefer their women a little unattainable! Desperate women are an easy lay- they excite no one! If it is too cheap, it can’t be dear!
Real men might not even want to dump the vulnerable and the desperate woman because they want to, but because it’s in his nature not to keep ordinary desperadoes around them. They get bored easily. He needs and wants a woman who challenges and engages him mentally, physically and will call him out when he’s wrong, advice him and argue politely with him and not someone who is too agreeable like a dull bimbo. He needs someone who will also support, love and stand by him forever.
A desperate woman is too engrossed with the desire to marry that she forgets to enjoy her love life. This real man does not want an ‘AY AY’ woman. He wants someone who will tell him the truth. “Yes” people don’t help us grow and develop. Only the truth does. If you’re confident within yourself you can be honest and tell the truth to a man. He will love you for it. But when you are unsure of what his response will be and you are scared of losing him because of the fear of not getting another, you do your all to please him, say Yes to all his stupid demands and end up annoying him. Heartache results and you cast every man in the same hurt-rendering shade.
I beseech you to be that independent, strong-willed, supremely confident and secure woman that men swoon to and can’t get enough of. I find troublesome women really sexy and attractive! They excite me. Confidence is the most profound make up a woman can adorn! No one dumps a confident girlfriend, but make sure you do not cross over to brashness, impudence and pride! There is a thin fine line. You can only achieve this by loving you and making a full, rich life for yourself independent of a man.An unhappy spinster makes a sad wife! Marriage doesn’t bring happiness or a cure to boredom! There are so many lonely and sad married people out there! When you are happily single, you can easily be happily married! If you need a man to make you happy, you will live all your days in sorrow, disappointment, dejection, heartbreaks and ruin!
Those who live by hope die with despair. It is when you are happy that you become attractive and capable of attracting the right kind of guy, not when you are desperate, agitated, emotional, unstable, fretting and neurotic.
When the total package of happiness cologne comes into your life, the right type of man will want to share in the happiness you possess! He will sense deep down inside that your self-esteem doesn’t depend on him and that you are independently happy. That you don’t need him to survive, you want him to take part in your wonderful life. It’s like you are bringing a buffet of happiness to the banquet of matrimony. You have something to offer. You are not just coming empty into the union in search of a happiness drug, a meal ticket and a boredom cure. This is why no one genuinely loves the clingy and the love-needy. The emotion we feel towards them is empathy!
It is exciting to find a woman who is independent and not desperate. That will be a huge relief to men because admittedly, many women are the opposite. It’s something different. When he doesn’t have all the pressure of your life riding on him day to day, he can relax and be himself around you, which is what he ultimately desires to do. Then both of you can just have fun and enjoy each other’s company and allow true love to develop. You can then blossom and function as a great unit.