It is natural to be optimistic at the beginning of a relationship. It is wiser to be realistic. While the adventures of Caro & I might be amusing and outrageous, please find in it plenty useful sense.
I think we all have this sense of being dramatic inherent in us, but Caro is on a wavy level. In the last few months of our relationship, Caro and I have been on opposing sides on major scandals that have rocked Facebook, where we met. We are two self opinionated assholes.
Caro is the only somebody I know that would relay a scandal on Facebook to you, and by the time she’s through, you’d feel like you were the culprit in the drama you weren’t involved. I’ve often had to say, “babe, why are you sounding like say na me do am? “😂
Now you can imagine the few times I’ve really been the culprit in private matters between us. As we are approaching a compromise in any argument, Caro will be throwing in inflammatory comments here and there. Initially, this makes me livid. It is one thing to argue with someone who shares dissimilar opinion, it is another thing to argue with someone who wants to be unreasonable. It took a while before I realised she doesn’t like to admit being wrong. Or to put it more perspectively, she doesn’t like to reveal vulnerability. I think we’ve had less quarrels ever since I got to know this.
It is a bad thing to be in a relationship with someone you’ve never experienced their madness or vices. If you date someone for three months and there’s no altercation, I daresay the relationship lacks intensity.
When there’s a quarrel, especially if it doesn’t border on infidelity, the first thing is to assert your unwavering love to your partner even during the disagreeable moment.
The last time something similar occured and communication was strained between us I sent this,
“… I won’t force my moral perception on you. I can only express myself and hope you reason along anytime we differ in principle. Our differences must not always descend into emotional quarrels. We are concerned about each other’s values just because we love each other and nothing more. So it is foolhardy to quarrel in our attempts to compare and contrast values out of love…”
The next morning we had both become more reasonable. Our disagreement had a premature death. I cannuh coman allow Facebook drama trigger drama from my dramatic sweetheart.
It could be really simple to influence and impact once the other person is assured everything is done in love and the love is not premised on any condition. Influence is effective when Love is assured whether there are differences in certain principles or not.
Till next time, stay safe. Let me know if you are actually learning from this series. Share your thoughts in the comments section.