Today, we are treating a mail we received from a reader who wants our opinion on the issue stated in the subject of this article. It’s straight and simple, if I get a car for my birthday from my ex, is it proper for me to accept it? What will be my new lover’s reaction to that? This is the issue we are looking at today, and we will be glad to have your opinion about it. Read the story below.
MY EX BOUGHT ME A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, SHOULD I ACCEPT IT?
I met Dave when I was writing my WAEC examinations in secondary school. He helped me get to my centre one morning when I got stranded in the rain. We got close and I fell in love, but I was initially scared of getting into a relationship with him because he was much older than me. I asked him to wait for me to get into the university before starting a relationship officially. He agreed and even helped me get into University of Port Harcourt (where he graduated from) within a year.
Things went well until my third year when he suddenly stopped calling and visiting me. I heard rumours from his friends that he was seeing someone else (who was his ex) and they are planning their wedding. I went to Lagos to confront him and he didn’t deny. He apologised and tried to pay me off, but I rejected his money and walked away.
I nursed the hurt till I graduated and returned to Lagos. I met Femi, who is a member of my church, and we have been close friends. He is single and a very good man that I would love to marry. He has not asked me out, but we have literally been dating.
He was at my place along with friends to celebrate with me last week for my birthday, and while we were having fun, Dave suddenly showed up. He came with two friends and they claimed to have come to celebrate with me. I didn’t like the idea, but I could not chase them away. As we rounded off, Dave stood up to make an announcement. He offered me keys to a Prado Jeep, and said it was my birthday present. I was shocked and confused. I reluctantly accepted the key and thanked him.
Since that day, I have not felt at peace. Dave hasn’t called me or answered my calls, and conversation between me and Femi has been awkward. I can’t use the car, I am not comfortable.
Should I return it?
This is quite dicey. From all I can read from your story, Dave hasn’t made any ulterior intentions known, neither has Femi declared what he wants to do with you. That makes you free to decide what you want to do. We can’t be certain that the car gift is a ploy for Dave to make a return, neither can we say Femi really desires to be with you, and will propose. So what is missing is clear communication. What you should do, I suggest, is to visit Dave, in an open place, and ask for the motive behind the gift. That will help you know if the gift is acceptable or not. You should also find time to speak with Femi on what has caused the change in him since the gift was given to you. I believe you should be able to decipher his long term plans for you from that conversations.
You can add your advice below.
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