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Most people dread long distance relationships, they never want to go there, but they never realize that every relationship has to pass through the long distance phase at one point or the other, and a connection must be sustained to keep the relationship alive.
Your partner may travel to another state for a job, posted to serve in far north or south-south, relocation could happen, and many other circumstances could arise that would make lovers separate temporarily. This separations are usually not easy especially for young lovers and those who hadn’t gone through it before, because it comes as a test of your resolve to be with each other, even when you can’t see the other person. I used to know a friend whose relationship of Three years crashed within Two weeks of NYSC camping. This experience and many others I have seen shows that a lot of relationships are likely to buckle under the pressure of long distance. Hence the need to learn how to build and sustain a long distance connection with your lover.
This article aims to help you prepare adequately for the inevitable, so that when it eventually happens to your relationship, you will not be under pressure in unfamiliar territories. For those who are currently in this situation, this should help you know what to start doing right now to keep you and your partner in check and the love sustained. Feel free to write me if you still have questions after this.
I need to say this before we delve in. A little distance once in a while between you and your partner could be healthy, in fact it is advisable. However, I am of the opinion that the distance should not be for too long and if they have to be, they should be for unavoidable reasons. Let’s be real here, we are humans, we need some love and affection from a special person and when we have that special one and we can’t be with them when we want because of distance, it could to an extent make us vulnerable especially ladies…don’t argue. I know….I’m a lady myself.
Okay, I just broke the girl code…sorry. Straight to business.
Some people believe in the philosophy of out of mind being out of sight, others believe that total absence or in this case distance makes the heart grow fonder. What about you? The truth is that the heart must grow fonder. If it doesn’t, you probably don’t love the person enough to miss him or her so much. We miss our friends, talk less of the one we are dating.
What do you do when you miss your lover?
The answer to the question above has a 90% effect on what will eventually happen to your relationship. The actions you take, the thoughts in your mind, the words you speak at the time of this separation is what determines the strength or weakness of the long distance connection between you two.
So, let’s look into some tips on how to build and sustain a long distance connection between you and your lover.
This just has to be the first point and it may come off as a little simple but communicating here isn’t just calling every other hour to say hello. It’s deeper than that. You need to talk and listen too. Let the other person in on all that’s happening, that way they’ll barely feel like they’re not there with you. Move the conversation up a little from just have you eaten, do you miss me, well I miss you too, yada yada yada.
Do details, no matter how seemingly irrelevant. if calls aren’t really helping with the way our network providers are treating us, use social media. Send each other pictures, ping him to ask about his annoying boss, call her to tease about how long it took her to get her make up done that morning. You get the idea? Yea?
Sweet heart, you both need some intimacy. Especially of a physical sort. Physical intimacy(and I’m not talking sex please) would do wonders to your relationship. Yes, you talk on phone, you have active chats on BBM, Whatsapp, Facebook, etc but trust me honey, these things won’t take the place of seeing each other one on one. If the distance is really far, save up. Plan a visit together. It’d be worth it.
Physical intimacy may not always be possible or easy so instead of trying to forget about it all together, fantasize about it. Let your mind create stories that you can share with your partner, and consider acting them out next time you meet.
Do a Countdown
This helps in keeping you going and the days go by till you meet again, know what it also does? It builds the excitement as the meeting day draws near and when it eventually comes…hmmmm, it would make you realize how much passion you have for your partner.
Develop and keep healthy friendships.
Truth be told dear, you need them. Just cause brother bae is away doesn’t mean you can’t have friends. However, there’s a twist to it, DO NOT MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL THREATENED BY THEM. That would be just unfair. Keep friends, male and female alike but when it starts to get heated, don’t tempt yourself, cut them off.
Respect each other’s privacy
Everyone needs some space sometimes. You may be thinking, what other space does she need, she’s miles and miles away from me already. I know honey but that doesn’t mean you should choke her up with calls and monitoring her every move. Same for you ladies, dude’s got a job. He needs some time to actually get other things done. A little space will give him time to focus and miss you too!
I’ll stop here now and let you share your thoughts with me. If you would love to explore this topic more, you can join the Glowville Lovers Club today and get all your questions answered..
I’m still Cee~Y scribbling for GLOWVILLE.