I had decided love was not for me after passing through a period of total humiliation with my last boyfriend, Shina in 2015. Fast forward to 2018, and I feel like I had been cheating myself all along by giving up on love. Here is my story.
The Shina phase of my life is still one I can’t totally comprehend; I usually refrain from talking about it, but having found strength, I will give you a brief of what Shina did to me.
Shina was my third boyfriend, the one I wish I never had. We met in my final year during one of the FYB programs of my friend’s department, which I had attended out of boredom. I happened to sit beside him that day, and since I was in a chatty mood, we got talking.
He seemed like a cool person that day, so I didn’t hesitate to give him my number, so we could talk more often. Soon, we were hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. I didn’t have to think twice when he asked me to be his girlfriend.
I liked Shina a lot because he was intelligent and witty; what I didn’t know was that I would also become a victim of what I loved about him. To cut the long story short, we dated for a year, during which he was always harping about taking the relationship to the next level.
What I didn’t know was that he was only using that to cover his tracks. Shina was actually sleeping with my friend, and was also already betrothed to someone in Oyo, his hometown.
I found out in the most humiliating way and I hurt so much from that experience because I couldn’t do anything to Shina for wasting a year of my life for nothing!
I returned to Lagos after graduation and took solace in Yemi, my best friend. She was to be my rebound, my new boyfriend, girlfriend, confidante, solace and everything that satisfies my emotional need.
Yemi did her best, but she wouldn’t give up on me trying love once more. I was not interested, and even though I tried to pick fights with her, she remained stubborn.
Yemi would always lure me out, trying to force me into meeting new people. At first, I was stiff and would always keep to myself, but I soon realized I could just have fun without strings attached. I made a personal rule not to let it go beyond talking; no exchange of numbers and no familiarity beyond bounds.
One day, we attended Yemi’s big sister’s wedding and something – which I would now refer to as ‘the big break’ – happened!
As the reception ceremony came to an end, Yemi pulled me aside and just said, “I don’t want to get involved, but I’m about to leave with my sister, but I thought you should know that guy over there thinks you’re hot.“
She left, but I stayed back, still shocked and intrigued by the suddenness of it all.
Moments later, the said guy walked up to me and we got talking. I found his name – Patrick and also got to know that we share a lot of common interest, and many more things I actually like in a person.
It took me over a month to give him my number, and during that time, he had to come all the way to my house or my shop to see me. I later got comfortable with him and decided to give him a chance to be ‘close friends’ with me.
It was only a matter of time before I realized I had fallen for Patrick and was ready again to love and be loved. We started dating officially in February, and right now, I can only say that I have missed LOVE in the real sense of it.
The interesting part of my story is that one day, I randomly asked Patrick why he thought I was hot at Yemi’s Sister’s Party. I found out that Yemi has said the same thing to Patrick and she had made it all up because neither of us ever said anything!
It was a matchmaking that just mysteriously worked out, and I am grateful for it.