ADAM’S APPLE Episode 1
By Olumide Lawrence
As I rolled on the bed and opened my left eye to steal a glance at the wall clock, I silently wished there was still time – time to rest some more – I was so tired after the romp of the previous night.
It was a memorable night with Valerie. She was the most exciting partner I ever had. Too skillful in bed and like a horse, was never tired. She used every bit of strength in me till I begged her to stop.
The wall clock spoke in the most dreadful language – quarter past Seven! I jumped and looked at the other side of the bed immediately, Valerie was gone. I ran to the bathroom, she wasn’t there, none of her belongings remained.
“Hmmm… This girl. Full of surprises.” I muttered to myself as I rubbed my head, smiling and giving myself a silent pat on the back for a job well done.
Truth be told, Valerie was one of my toughest catch, but she gave me a happy ending. I remember that sunny Saturday afternoon when I took to twitter to vent my anger after being ignored by caterers at a party I attended. It was embarrassing and I had left the party in anger, filling my belly to the brim with a plate of rice and chicken which I got at Sweet Sensation on my way back home.
I was still seething with anger when I tweeted “The worst punishment is to be active in a party and still miss out on food!” Within a few minutes, my tweet was trending all over twitter. Different responses came from tweeps, I had about 300 retweets and 28 favourites. I also gained over 60 followers by that tweet!
My anger had metamorphosed into pure excitement. I was all over the place and tweeps were subbing me in their tweets. My seemingly silent twitter life blew open, and I was enjoying twitter all of a sudden.
But someone suddenly burst my bubble. I was going through my mentions when I saw a reply thus:
“STFU! Food Monger! RT @GregDinho The worst punishment is to be active in a party and still miss out on food!”
I was shocked. A quick look at the handle and it was @inVALuable69. Next thing was a glance at the avatar (profile picture) and it was one of the most sexually exciting avatars I had seen on twitter. The beautiful lady in the avatar was fair in complexion, and was wearing a blue lingerie. She was nude, but had her fingers covering just her crotch, keeping away the sight of her privates from my seeking eyes.
“I must follow this bitch” I said to my self quickly, and before I knew what I was doing, I had typed “@inVALuable69 Kindly follow back. Please.”
I took a short tour through her tweets and I just knew she was the exact breed of bad girl I would love to keep as a girlfriend (note, girlfriend not wife). She had over 35,000 followers and was following just 2,589 people. I immediately told my self I would be number 2,590!
Days passed by, there was no response from @inVALuable69, she didn’t follow back but I continued following her tweets. I replied some of her tweets, but she didn’t even do anything as little as a retweet in response to me. Her erotic tweets only made me thirst for more, and I was determined to do anything…anything at all to make her notice me…and probably follow me back.
#FollowFriday! Yes of course, that was the special day set apart on twitter for tweeps to gain followers. I was up early on this particular Friday and was in the staff bus to work when I saw her ‘good morning‘ tweet. It seemed like a perfect opportunity to create a conversation with her, so I jumped on the reply button quickly and replied, ‘good morning angel, how was your night’.
Like a hunter waiting for his prey to wander into sight, I kept refreshing my mentions at intervals of two minutes, but didn’t get any reply from @inVALuable69. “What kind of girl is this?” I cussed under my breath.
In frustration, I tweeted at her thus, “will it take sacrificing the brain of a mosquito and the armpit of a frog to get a ff bk?” And like magic again, I was trending. And this time, it wasn’t just me… I was trending alongside @inVALuable69 because of her response: “bring a strand of hair on your mother’s p***y, and I’ll follow you back”
The whole twitter community went agog once again, as everyone was talking about a ‘twitfight’ between @GregDinho and @inVALuable69. It wasn’t good enough to qualify as a twitfight by my estimation, I was thoroughly schooled! My meager 1,684 followers couldn’t match her 35,024 followers. She had such a mighty army of followers who were retweeting and replying with all sorts of annoying tweets.
After more than an hour, I had to give up chasing @inVALuable69. I reluctantly hit the unfollow button, and just faced my work for the day. But I was not happy, I felt hurt, and felt like I had lost someone special. I took one last look at her avatar and couldn’t help my dick from going hard again. Yes, I was lost in lust for this girl. I wanted her so bad, but I just couldn’t fathom what to do to get her.