It usually takes a lot to declare someone you were once in love with as an ‘ex’. At that point, it’s either they stopped loving you, you stopped loving them, or circumstances were just stronger than the bond you both shared. Regardless of whatever the situation may be, there has been a disconnect somewhere, and it should take something really strong and genuine for you to consider taking your ex back in a relationship.
In most cases, your exes are best left where they are – in the past. But we have equally seen a lot of people make the regular mistake of loving their past more than the prospects of the future. So, they fall into the comfort of what has been, rather than taking the chance at what could be.
People often say, the devil you already know is better than the angel you are just getting to know; and I declare on this platform that it is a FREAKING BIG LIE! The devil on any day will always be worse than an angel. If a person has already proven themselves unworthy, don’t make them worthy because you do not know what others might become.
An adage says “If we shut our eyes against the bad person, we might lose sight of the good person who’s also passing. In my own parlance, I call it “STAY WOKE!”
If you had a bad break up with an ex, let them remain an ex forever, no matter how repentant they appear to be. And here are 5 reasons you may never consider taking your ex back.
1. They forgot to cross something off their bucket list the first time.
A lot of exes realize they didn’t get to achieve some personal ‘goals’ when they were with you the first time, so they try to scheme their way into a return, just so they can fulfill their mission. You don’t need me to tell you what would happen to you after getting what they want.
Most of the time, people who didn’t have sex with you the first time would want a return, just so they can satisfy their ego. There is also a group of people who didn’t get enough money or take advantage of some favours the first time; they may be coming back just to have their ‘share’. If this is their mission, taking your ex back would definitely leave you even more hurt than the first time.
2. They can’t bear the thought of you with someone else.
This is mostly misconstrued by a lot of people as repentance. The truth is that some exes do not return just because they love you, they are only back because the thought of you finding happiness with someone else kills them. They rather keep you at their mercy than set you free with others. If you are not careful, you might not realize this until very late.
A lot of these people know how to secretly be with others, while wasting your time. They are usually very jealous too, and highly paranoid when they see you talking to others. You don’t deserve this kind of torture, and that’s why you should not be quick to consider taking your ex back for another relationship.
3. They came to take one for the road!
The concept of “One for the road” means that you have already had so much, but the greed in you won’t stop you taking one more, as you leave the party! There are a lot of people like this. They had their fill in the relationship before it went sour, and when they suddenly realize you are still available, they think of coming to take one more before leaving again. Never open the door of your heart to such people. If you do that, you will definitely regret it.
She probably knows you give the best sex, and since she only cares about your body, she returns with the pretense that she is sorry. Then you let her in, and have another round of mind blowing sex, only for her to call off the relationship again; leaving you in another round of sorrow.
Don’t let your ex use sweet words or a sorry face to drag you back into an ad-hoc relationship. It’s usually brutal and tortuous, and if you are about taking your ex back, please make a u-turn after reading this!
4. They are back to get revenge or might push you into getting one.
Depending on what terms you broke up the first time, you need to stay alert when an ex is trying to make a comeback. An ex that was hurt by certain actions in the first relationship might just be returning to take a pound of flesh. Even in the case whereby they offended you and are begging you to forgive, resist the temptation of taking them back because you may find yourself still hurting from the last time and pushing for revenge.
It’s your duty to apologize for whatever wrong you did, and make sure they confess to forgiving you. If they are the offender, you can forgive them and let it end there! Taking back your ex when one of you is still hurt is a recipe for DISASTER.
5. They are back because they are truly shit!
A popular quirky quote says, “If you like someone, set them free. If it comes back to you, it means nobody wanted them, set them free again!” – As funny as this quote may sound, it is true in some cases. Some people only came into your life in the first place because you were the only one who could take their shit. You let them go the first time because their shit was too much to bear. Why should you then take them back?
If they were that great, they wouldn’t be finding ways to return to you. Their return most likely means that no other person out there is willing to accommodate them, as they are unwilling to change. Don’t open your door to them again to shit you up the second time. They can find someone else who doesn’t mind their shit; definitely not you!
Yes, I know it’s not all exes who mean bad when they want a return; some of them are truly repentant and willing to make amends, but you may never be able to tell who’s real or fake just by their pleas. My advice to you is to LET EVERY EX PROVE HIMSELF OR HERSELF FROM OUTSIDE!
Let them right all their wrongs from outside. They don’t have to make things right while in custody of your heart. Don’t give in to them so easily. The ones that are real will linger, the fake ones will give way.
When you have reached a particular point where you believe an ex has proven beyond all doubts (after evaluating them based on the 5 reasons I have stated above) you can then let them in for a second trial.
Love is a good feeling, but it’s also a good weapon to lock down your brain.
Do you have other reasons you may never consider taking your ex back? Please share with me in the comments.