I have had to answer a lot of questions from different people who wanted to know how I managed to stay in my relationship for 5 years; most especially someone I had met via a social networking app. Some people think it’s hard to have a long term relationship with people you meet online. This has prompted me to write about the reasons social media relationships fail.
A lot of good friends and people who met online have lost their closeness after meeting physically. Here are 5 common reasons that often happens.
1. The expectation gets too high.
It is understandable that a lot of people are at their best behaviour and always project their best features on social media, but hey, tone down on those mighty big expectations. You are not meeting Obama or Oprah, remember!
2. A person is sharply different from their online persona.
This often happens and ranks as one of the most common reasons social media relationships fail after the first date. You know a person to be very humorous online, every post is a hit, back to back. But two hours after meeting them, they cannot even make you grin for two seconds, and you are wondering what happened to all their sense of humour. This one is sad cos it leaves you with a lot of disappointment and you are struggling to see the first date through. A second date becomes almost impossible.
3. You have sex, or there is a failed mission to have sex!
Sex shouldn’t be a problem ordinarily, especially if it is the main reason you decided to meet. But if you are meeting on different terms and sex creeps into the agenda, it MIGHT serve as a catalyst to the eventual drift. This often depends on the persons involved.
4. Misplaced identity.
This can be really shocking. Often happens that you have been drooling over a slay king/queen online and when you finally meet, they are dragging cuteness with Shrek. The disappointment alone can cause the drift, right from the first meeting. That’s why it’s advisable to show your real face online, or put a caveat to what you are showing. People showing up different from what they look like online is a very common reason social media relationships fail after the first date.
5. The law of see finish comes to play.
That’s just it. See finish! The summation of everything above. At some point, every relationship, online and offline, will get to a see finish point. If you really care about that relationship, you’d repackage and consciously unravel new things about each other. Although I believe that when two people genuinely care about each other, see finish will hardly happen.
A friend, Adeola Folorunsho had this to say about reasons social media relationships fail, “Some people are just shallow and too lazy to do the work involved in building a relationship because they think they have loads of options. Most don’t even have an inkling what they want in the first place.”
Itodo Anthony also shared his thought – “When you meet someone online the key thing you need them to have is substance. Many people are hollow. And the superficial things that attract you to people online are hardly enough to sustain a relationship…maybe they are fine, humorous, sound smart….You need to define what constitutes substance for you as a person and if they have it you most likely will remain friends after meeting.
There are friends I haven’t met but I am very sure nothing will change after meeting them, because they have genuine substance, and that will keep me going.”
Many of us have suffered from at least one or two of the issues discussed in this article, but the question is: What can be done to meet and still maintain the friendship we have online?