So far, 2018 has been described as a year to ‘Shoot your shot’, and there is a renewed enthusiasm everywhere for ladies (and guys) who are looking for love, or are finally ready to give it a try. Because we care, we have decided to help guys streamline their thoughts towards the kinds of girls to date this year.
Kindly note that this is just a feel good article; take it personal at the risk of your high blood pressure. It’s Friday, and we are having fun.
ACE got you on this one.
Here are the three types of girls to date in 2018.
1. The modest girl – not the type that will propose to you in ICM.
Girls with single names like Amaka and compound names like MaryAmaka.
Girls who have only known pounded yam and Egusi soup all their lives and who would frown at the mention of Shawarma and ice cream because they think those might be the names of other girls in your life.
Girls wey never tear eye — in simple English, never gone under the knife to come into the light. The same light Eve came into when she ate the forbidden fruit.
Girls who would only date you if you have a God attached to your name like a prefix because of their uncanny love for God — Godson, Goddey, and Goddammit (there’s still God).
Girls who are comfortable walking in your shadow. The ones who are born followers. The ones who actually see you as the head of the home and they the tail and so they practice this culture by always giving you the head of fish to eat while they eat the tail.
Girls who would only go down on their knees if they want to blow your mind away and not the ones who would propose to you in ICM.
2. The hardworking girl – not the one that will depend on you for everything.
Girls with names like Ada — because they came out first and so it has to be evident in all areas of their lives that they be first.
Girls who offer their hands first for a handshake because they don’t want you assuming they aren’t confident or sure.
Girls who eat and sleep at the same time because they don’t have time to spare.
Girls who treat you as you are — another human and not the way society treats you — a man.
Girls who would rather say “I want to fuck you than
I want to make love to you,” because they always go for what they want.
Girls who only take gifts from you if it’s their birthday or a special occasion and who would return same gesture.
Girls who don’t do much to make your John Thomas hard because they are naturally hardworking.
3. The smart girl – not the one that cannot construct simple English.
Girls who don’t mind changing their names so the new name could have the academic grade — A in it. Annabel, Anastasia, Anita.
Girls who are walking Encyclopedias — who know everything inside the books and the minds of the authors.
Girls you would wake in the middle of the night with questions like “In what year did man go to the moon for the first time” and they would answer while still asleep.
Girls who would change your life and package your destiny.
Girls who have an accent for every occasion and even during coitus.
Girls wey their eyes don tear. In simple English, gone under the knife.
So, men, in all thy choosing, choose wisely.
You have an idea of other types of girls to date this year? The comments section is yours; take it!