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Would you be surprised if I told you that the selection of the right best man is often of more concern to the bride than to the groom? Most of the time (but not always), women place more significance upon wedding party titles than men. But one of the most important selection a groom has to make for his wedding is the Best man – because he does have some actual responsibilities which affects the couple in a lot of ways during the wedding – it then becomes necessary to understand some important things to avoid in a best man.
Guys are just happy (or not) to be asked to stand up for their buddies at their weddings, and generally couldn’t care less where they stand in the formal lineup. The groom usually chooses his brother, or the buddy with whom he hangs out the most, without giving much thought as to whether they would be a “good” best man. Generally speaking, men who aren’t asked to be in the wedding party don’t care — they’re just happy to enjoy the wedding reception with absolutely no responsibilities. Whether he is your brother or best buddy, there are things to avoid in a best man.
Choosing a good maid of honor can make the bride’s life a LOT easier, choosing a bad best man can make her miserable, and even cause the bride and groom to fight. It’s a good idea for the couple to have a serious conversation about their wedding party choices before they invite anyone to participate in a specific capacity.
If the groom knows what the bride is concerned about, he’ll be better prepared to make choices that will make his wedding day more fun for him and his bride. But in general, here are three qualities to avoid when choosing your best man:
1. The biggest comedian in your crew probably isn’t the best spokesperson for the wedding party, so to speak. If this guy is hilarious, but makes your fiancé cringe with his pronouncements on a regular basis, asking him to be the one making the toast at your wedding will likely create a ton of stress for the bride, who will be worried right up until the moment when he sits back down.
2. Party wingmen are important to have as friends, but the guy who always convinces you to do just a few more shots of booze, and discourages you from heading home when your fiancé is ready to call it quits, is not the man to help you make good decisions at your wedding activities. With adult supervision, he can be a groomsman. But even then, he’ll need to tone it down a notch for the evening.
3. The guy who never has his act together and is late for everything isn’t qualified to be a best man. You need the guy who arrives early and remembers to bring the tickets to the concert leading the way on your wedding day, not the guy who loses his own car in the stadium parking lot. Remember, this is the man who will be holding your wedding rings. But first, he has to remember to bring them.