Tada! Soogun Omoniyi is back again with another hilarious piece. He titles this “The Types of I LOVE YOUs and Their Interpretations. Enjoy and tell us what you think after reading.
The thoughts you’re about to read may not be true for everyone, but if a person- especially a writer- who understands the subtlest words and signs writes or says any of these to you, you better start believing me.
1) I love you :
I know you find nothing wrong with this; it looks so harmless and true, but where’s the full stop? Ehn? No closure. No nothing. What this person is simply saying is,
“I’m not sure about this, but let me just say it. I’m still as open as the heavens.”
2) I love you. :
Most writers will agree with me that there’s a special mental effect the Full Stop has. It shows decisiveness and the end. It means, I love you, and that’s my final decision.
This is a good one.
3) Have you eaten? / Are you covered up? :
Only applicable to a particular group of people. If it isn’t coming from your parents, siblings or something, it means nothing close to the original thing. Be warned.
Whenever my mum asks about how well I’m covered, all I hear is,
“Oko mi, I love you.”
4) I love youuuu:
This can show a form of excitement. But who excitement epp? The dominant meaning –
“This thing I’m saying, I don’t believe it, so I’ll just use this stress to make myself believe myself, and maybe convince you too, foolish boy/girl.”
5) I love you… :
Usually used when the heart is heavy or up to something ominous. Ellipses indicate there are missing pieces of texts. This person is yearning to say something else, but cannot or will not say it.
Don’t feel all happy and satisfied when you receive this.
…but your head is too big.
…but you’re not from Akwa-Ibom.
…but I love someone else.
…but I want to be a Priest.
…but I see you as a mother.
6) I luh you:
So love is now a slang? I find this irritating to no end. It shows a high degree of triviality. It means,
‘I want you. So, when are we going to have sex?”
In a lighter vein, *I luh you* can be used playfully between two people who are already in love.
7) I agape you. :
Rarely used in this form, but If anyone tells you this directly, drop all you are doing and follow them. It’s the hardest and at the same time, the easiest to say.
I still haven’t found something better and more beautiful.
8) I heart you. :
This sounds really bland and senseless. So, all your mind can come up with during that rush of emotions is I heart you? Are you serious? This particular one is the paragon of triviality.
Finally, a more sensible meaning of I heart you which is not same as the original is *I have you in heart.* It still sounds disturbing though.
9) I love you dear:
This one is quite tricky. *Dear* changes all. It acts as a weakener. You should answer the following questions whenever you receive this,
Are they older? Are they shy? Is this how somebody use to enter friendzone?
Don’t rejoice, because it seems like you’ve just been zoned. Or not.
10) I don’t love you. :
You are in the middle of a chat, say talks about chicken, and they suddenly digress,
“Jennifer, I don’t love you.”
Refer to 2, they mean the same; this one is just coming from an interesting heart. Maybe fearful.
So which one of these ten types of I LOVE YOUs have you experienced? Share with us in the comments section.